A
TTRACTION
C
ONTROL
M
ONTHLY
VOLUME 5
RENEE WADE & DAVID SHEN
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ATTRACTION CONTROL MONTHLY
Volume 5 “Becoming a High Value, High Status Woman”
Attraction Control Monthly Program
Attraction Control Monthly is a monthly subscription program designed for women to learn the knowledge and skills in attracting a man for the long-term and becoming more attractive to men. As you probably know already, attraction is a very important element of life and relationships. It will determine whether you will be able to attract the man of your life, whether you will be able to keep that man, and perhaps even the difference between saving a marriage or seeing it collapse. Every month, you will be sent a new volume of Attraction Control Monthly, with brand new concepts, ideas, and exercises. So keep yourself subscribed, and learn the ideas and skills to have a passionate and exciting love life other women could only dream about.
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The Bad Girl Notice: Attraction Control Monthly is copyright 2012 - 2020 with all rights reserved. It is illegal to copy, distribute, or create derivative works from this book in whole or in part, or to contribute to the copying, distribution, or creating of derivative works of this book. Here is the statement on my website reprinted for your reference: "© All Rights Reserved. If you try to copy, steal, or distribute all or any part of my book or this web page without permission, I will have my attorney contact you and make you wish that you'd never had such a stupid idea in your life. Count on it. By purchasing this book, you agree to the following: You understand that the information contained on this page and in this book is an opinion, and it should be used for personal entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of this book is to be considered legal or personal advice." “All the images in this series are for entertainment purposes. Extreme care has been taken to make sure credit goes to the rightful owner however that may not always be possible. If any of the images belong to you, then please contact us and we will give you the rightful credit” And I expect you to abide by these rules. I regularly and actively search the Internet for people who violate my copyrights. Now that we're finished with the bad girl notice, let's learn about how to build and maintain attraction with a man...
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Contents High Value – The “Paris Hilton” Factor ..... 5! You Must Be High Value High Status ...... 16! If You Are Low Value in Life… .................. 32! Men are Attracted to High Value Women37! The Three Types of Value .......................... 43! Increasing Your Reproductive Value .... 48! Increasing Your Social Value ................... 67! Increasing Your Spiritual Value .............. 80! Low Value & Low Status Signs ................. 95! Becoming Higher Value NOW ................ 105! Next Volume of ACM ............................... 115!
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High Value – The “Paris Hilton” Factor
Hey there. David & Renee here. How are you doing this month? We hope that you are well and that life is continually getting better and richer for you. This month we’re going to talk about becoming a high value, high status woman. Now you may not know how what being a high status woman means or what benefits it will give you in life, but I’m sure you like the
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idea, and you want to become someone of higher value and higher status. So why is that? And why is having high value and high status so important in creating attraction with your man or other men? And how do you go about creating that high value, high status for yourself? These are the questions that we’re going to look to answer in this issue of Attraction Control Monthly. Now before we start… let me just ask you a quick question. Would Paris Hilton ever have trouble finding a date? No, I’m not kidding, this is a serious question. Would she ever have trouble finding a date?
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Would she ever get to that desperate place of not having anyone…a place that I know many single women in the world get to? Now, I don’t know. Really, I’m not a friend of Paris Hilton’s, so I can only speculate, but my guess is that she will never have trouble finding a date. But here’s the question: why? Why wouldn’t she have trouble finding a date? I have absolutely nothing against Paris, but personally I think there are plenty of women out there who are far more beautiful and radiant than Paris Hilton. So really, it’s not her looks. Is it her money? Well we all know that she is rich in money beyond comprehension, but still, there are many women, (and men) out there who have
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so much money yet they still can’t find a date. I speak to successful, intelligent women who have more than enough money to feed themselves, a man, and a family of 4 children if they wished. Yet, they desperately chase men year after year after year. Yet, I’ve never seen Paris Hilton not able to find a boyfriend. This was mind boggling to me at first. Here is a woman who clearly has little to no brains, a woman who isn’t that genetically blessed, a woman whose behavior produces a ‘hand-onmouth’ effect in most of us. And yet, she still maintains high status, and she still has men wanting to know her. Now, as a woman this may seem hard to believe, because I don’t know many women around me who consider themselves classy
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and high value and look up to Paris Hilton. But, just for a short moment, we really have to look at things through a different lens in order to learn a little something. So bear with us on this. You’ve probably guessed that the secret reason why Paris Hilton will never have trouble finding a date is because she presents herself as a “high value, high status woman”. Now I’m not at all condoning her behavior, especially all the law breaking dangerous acts that she has involved herself in. And also the numerous times I’ve seen her mistreat others, but I really do believe there’s a lesson for us to learn here. Perhaps Miss Hilton isn’t the most compassionate human being on earth, or the most intelligent, or the most elegant, but she is a great example of a woman who holds
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herself as high value and high status, even when her sex tape leaked all over the internet. Think about it, most women would be totally humiliated if a sex tape of them ends up on the internet, and the last thing these women would do is protect their high value and their high status. I’m not suggesting that Paris Hilton’s actions were ideal or even classy, but she did do a good job of keeping her high status. And because of this single fact, men actually want to spend time with her. Men actually find her fascinating, and are curious about her, instead of treating her like a used “sl#t”. In fact, the sex tapes made her even more popular than she ever was before and she suddenly became the center of the media’s
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attention. The same kind of thing is true of Kate Moss and Kim Kardashian. They have high value, so more people are more willing to go out of their way for them. I recently heard that Paris Hilton gets paid a million dollars to show up at a night club just for a single night. That’s right – a million dollars just to show up at one single night club on a single night, she pocketed a million dollars. That’s some high status high value right there. (I don’t suggest you go and intentionally leak a sex tape of yourself out there in hope to gain popularity, it’s probably going to backfire on you and get you the kind of popularity that you never wanted.) So it’s imperative that we learn something
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from Paris Hilton and give ourselves the incredible benefits that come from presenting ourselves as high value, and high status. I know that perhaps this topic seems superficial. And if you talk to your friends about it, they might brush it off as being superficial as well. It’s not a comfortable topic, but that’s why we feel the need to talk about it. Because though we don’t want to admit it, this kind of hierarchy exists in the world. And if you do bring the topic up with people, be careful, because it can really trigger people’s feeling that they are not enough. EVEN IF you do not feel you discriminate against people, and even if you think it’s nasty – the truth is that the tendency to respond differently to people who present to us as high value is wired in to us, the same
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way as the tendency to respond differently to people who present themselves as LOW value is wired in to us. This is an extreme example, but think about this for a minute. If you’re walking along the street, and a drunk man with greasy hair, a missing tooth, old clothes and a depressed looking face walked towards you, would you be more likely to move a little further to the side or try to walk around him? Of course. Your subconscious mind has already made assumptions about this man; those assumptions of which may be many, but they world basically add up to mean one thing: low value. On the other hand, if the exact same man washed his hair, brushed his teeth, fixed his tooth, put on some cologne, stood tall and full of purpose and walked past you in a SUIT – are you likely to try and move a little to the
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side when walking past him? Which man are you more likely to give to if they were to ask you if you had a spare 50 cents? The same man in the suit, or the same drunk man who has a missing tooth? Who would you be more willing to forge a friendship with? It would be far easier to give to the same man in the suit who is scrubbed up, because you know he’s far less likely to EXTRACT value from your life, because he already IS high value. The same man in the suit presents as higher value, so you perceive that this man has more value to add to YOUR life. Does this make sense? See, this is not just about being
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judgmental. We all have a judgmental part to our personality anyway. It’s about what our ancestors did for millions of years to better their survival. They had to avoid danger, progress socially and have high value in order to ensure their own survival and to ensure better quality, healthier offspring. It’s the fact of how it works. And we have to accept it and be grateful for the awareness if we want to better the quality of our relationships, and better understand how to succeed in our love life (and our life overall).
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You Must Be High Value High Status
Here’s exactly why you must be high value and high status in your life… If you are and present yourself as a high value, and high status woman, then men will automatically find you more attractive, even if you didn’t win the genetic lottery, and even if you don’t have any money, or any attractive outfits. You will be asked to go on more dates; have more men desiring your time, attention
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and company; and more men will ask for your phone number, regardless of whether you’re single, or if you’re in a committed relationship. If you preset yourself as a high value high status woman, and others perceive you that way, then you will always get the “better” treatment when you go out. You will have other women looking up to you and wanting to know you and be interested in becoming friends with you. You will have better service than most other people, and you will be cared for better than most other people. When it comes to your love life, the single most important thing that high value and high status will bring you is a sense of alluring mystery and men will be more fascinated by you and curious about you. Your lover, (and other people too) will find
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you endlessly fascinating, as if you have a depth that is boundless. He will never find you boring, because a person of high value is never boring. He will wonder to himself why he’s so lucky that he’s never bored in the relationship and there’s always so much variety, (unlike all his buddies). You see, there’s a lot of women out there wanting to become more “mysterious” so that they feel like they could be more attractive. Well, here’s the real secret… When you become high value and high status, then you won’t have to “try” to be mysterious. You will automatically become mysterious as your normal mode of living. You will have a air of class, feminine charm and radiance that people feel inspired by. You will naturally hold yourself like a goddess without having to do “this and that”
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like so many other “experts” suggest you do. Now, the reality is this. All of us want to have high status in this world. It’s build into our “monkey” brain. You see, millions of years ago, when we were just apes, we lived in little colonies and tribes. And this is when social hierarchy began. If we were at the top of that social hierarchy, then we will be fed the best food, have the best shelter and the best mating chances. Other apes will do things for us, and being at the top of the hierarchy really exponentially increased our chances of survival. But on the other side of the coin, if we were somewhat low on that same social hierarchy, then we would be the first to die if a famine was to strike. We would have everyone else’s crumbs, and we would probably not have
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ANY mating opportunities. This is both true for males and females. We are all hardwired to seek high status and treat others better when they have higher status. This doesn’t mean you have to treat people you think are low status badly. This is no justification for terrible behavior or being nasty and condescending. This is really (once again) about our primal brain and how we have evolved over millions of years to ensure survival. If we didn’t survive, we couldn’t ever pass on our genes. Think about this for a moment. You’re standing in your drive way, and your neighbor calls you over to ask you if you could help him by driving him to the local shops as his car has broken down.
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You hesitate for a moment…(not really wanting to do such a large favor for your neighbor but at the same time, not wanting to say no…) and suddenly Brad Pitt shows up on the block. Now; you have Brad Pitt also asking you for the favor of driving the both of them down to the local shops. Does this turn of events make you more “motivated” to lend them a hand and offer the lift? If so… think about it. Why? Why does the thought of Brad Pitt massively increase your own motivation to reach out and help out? It’s because Mr. Pitt has high value and status and to us humans, high value and status is attractive. We can’t help it, this is true in every single
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culture around the world. Our brains are literally wired to climb the social ladder because our ancestors had to do that for millions of years just to survive. The ones who did not climb the social ladder died and didn’t pass their genes in to tomorrow. So whether you like it or not, we live in this hierarchical world. The people at the top (the high status and high value people) are perceived as the most attractive, and they get all the best, and the people at the bottom struggle to survive. Now I really do want to emphasize this point… Being high value and high status is WAY more important than trying to lose weight in order to look more attractive, or getting that new release dress from your favorite online
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store. Let this be some food for thought… In many more traditional cultures around the world, (especially the hunter gatherer type of cultures), food is less plentiful. And because of this scarcity of FOOD - it is a high value, high status symbol for women in these cultures to be fat. And let this roll around in your mind for a little bit. Think about this. In order to be fat in those traditional societies, you have to have a lot of resources and wealth, because you need resources to have access to food, which is a scarce resource. There is no cheap takeaway, or a donut shop around the corner. These modernized calorie dense foods only exist in more developed countries. So in some more traditional cultures, men
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automatically find you more attractive if you’re chubby or plump as a woman. It’s a symbol of wealth, prosperity and prestige. And by the way, men don’t have to talk themselves into finding a fat woman attractive, they naturally FEEL it. They instinctively understand whether a woman is high value and high status. In fact, get this: in certain cultures, a woman is to be locked in a “fattening” chamber before she is due to be married, so that she could look plump for her wedding. In these cultures, the appearance of plumpness is associated with high value, wealth, prestige, and even fertility. Contrast that with a country like America, the United Kingdom, or Australia, where there’s a long row of fast food joints down every highway. Calories are plentiful and cheap. Food can
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be very cheap in general. In fact, it costs you much less to eat badly (you need far less resources to eat badly) than it would to eat healthy. So in the developed world, the image of plumpness or fatness is undesirable because anyone could be fat. And most people in these countries ARE, in fact, overweight. It takes a lot MORE resources to be skinny or slim. You have to eat healthy, you have to have access to the cash to buy more natural and healthier, fresh foods. And maybe you even have go to the gym. Which costs more money. In fact, think about this: what do women in the developed world typically do before their wedding? They lock themselves in the gym and strap themselves to the stepper to burn as many of those nasty calories off as they can. They
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want to look slim for their wedding. (Quite opposite to those women in the hunter gatherer tribes) So the rules completely turn 180 degrees but the basic principle is still there. The basic principle is that we all look for high value, high status, in whichever shape or form it comes in. We all look to climb that social ladder and become high value and high status. We all look up to people who are already high value and high status. Now, many people resent people who have high status and high value. This is partly where our fear of success comes from. We fear becoming better, and building higher value, because the people around us who don’t have as high standards for themselves will fall behind and maybe even
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stop giving us love. And if you take a look around, many people make statements to try to make themselves feel better when an event, or a person of high value is somehow in their proximity, an sets off their hot buttons (which I call their fear buttons). Take an example I saw recently, which made me sick. In Australia, footballers are idolized for their playing Australian Rules football. And of course, by association, the media is obsessed with these footballer’s wives and girlfriends. In fact, there’s a term for them, which you may know. They have called them ‘WAGs’ (Wives and Girlfriends). Recently, the annual awards ceremony was on and one of the most famous footballers’ wives is absolutely stunning. She’s physically beautiful, and she has a
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great career, and is fit and healthy. Just two months prior to the annual awards ceremony (which we call the Brownlow medal), she had given birth to a son. And at the ceremony, she had already zipped back in to shape. Of course, I thought she looked stunning and appreciated her poise. Just a second later, media and people everywhere on facebook were making outlandish statements like: ‘oh yeah, we could all look like that if we didn’t eat’. ‘Oh, we could all lose weight that fast if we had the money for liposuction and personal trainers.’ So, high value people have their fair share of haters. It comes with the territory.
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Even though people would naturally treat you better when you’re high value – the people who have not worked for their high value can bitch about you faster than you can say ‘huh?’ This is a reminder of exactly how important and prevalent the idea of high value really is. People are acutely aware of high value and high status; and whether or not they have it, and this is why you both get the best treatment, but it is also why people try to make themselves feel better by bringing you down. These people are missing one clear point however: becoming high value is not just GIVEN to you. You work for it. People like this really don’t GET that it’s all about your standards. They don’t GET that
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you worked your ass off for something. Why? Because they’re done it themselves. They don’t know all the little details that are required to make a success of yourself in a certain area of life, whether that be obtaining a nice figure, or nice skin, a great career or a great husband. So don’t expect everybody to be able to give credit for your high value or your achievements. They don’t get it. They just see what they see and automatically feel some emotion and REACT. Remember it’s all about your personal standards for yourself. Low value people have low standards for themselves: they demand little from themselves and make excuses for everything that’s wrong in their lives. They make excuses for why they
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haven’t done something or for why they feel depressed. High value people (like you) do not. And it’s your standards that will help you build higher and higher value faster and faster.
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If You Are Low Value in Life…
If you don’t take this whole high value idea seriously, then here are the potential problems that you will encounter. People will treat you badly, regardless of where, when, what and how. People will think less of you, less of your abilities, and less of your worth. Others will try NOT to be around you, and
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not to associate with you, because they also know that you are a low value, low status individual. In the professional arena, you will find it difficult to find a secure job, get a raise, and overall you will find it difficult to look after yourself. In your love life, this gets even worse. You will find it incredibly difficult to find a man who is emotionally mature and responsible. In fact, if you hold yourself as low value, I would say that it’s absolutely impossible to attract a man who will take care of you. Instead, the kinds of men that you will most likely attract are those men who are flimsy, who are wishy-washy, low status men themselves. Men who lack confidence, who lack ambition, who lack resources and lack a
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sense of high self worth. And not to mention you would attract those types of men who just prey on women, wanting women only for sex and then disappear and never to be seen ever again. These selfish men are only out there to get their own desires met and care about no one else. (Women who present themselves as low value often get heavily targeted by these types of men who want to take advantage of them, because men intuitively know that low value women would easily fall for some cheap attention.) On the other hand, a high status, high value woman can easily see through the cheesy attempts of a man who is out to take advantage of a woman. So the reality is, these selfish men don’t
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target high value women because they know it would never work. You see, you have to be high value yourself in order to attract someone who is also high value. If you’re low in self esteem, guess what? You will attract someone equally low in self esteem. This is essentially the law of attraction. It always works whether you like it or not, and you can’t turn your back on it. So if you want to attract a confident man, guess what? You have to be a confident woman. If you want your existing man to be more confident, guess what? You have to inspire that through your own inner confidence. If you want a man who feels worthy, and doesn’t get intimidated by an attractive woman, then you have to feel worthy yourself
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and not be intimidated yourself first. So, if you don’t want to be treated badly, be taken advantage of, and struggle to attract a “good enough” man, then you want to make that shift right now from low value, to high value and high status. This is, in fact, the only way to have a passionate and deeply committed relationship where you are adored, treasured and protected. So how do you make the shift to become high value and high status? Well, first of all, start acting like it. That’s right, just act as if you were high status and high value. We’ll get to do some exercises later on in this volume to really get you on your way, so stay tuned.
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Men are Attracted to High Value Women
Men cannot help but be attracted to high value women, just as women can’t help but be attracted to high value men. Essentially this all comes down to our
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basic need to find the best mate possible for ourselves. As women, we are much more (and naturally) attracted to men who have lots of value to give. So what is this value that I’m talking about? Well, what is value for men is completely different to what’s value for women. A nice car is a lot of value for a man, but it’s lesser of a symbol of value for a woman (at least for herself to own). As a woman, you would most likely prefer to own nice outfits and accessories than a super fancy car, because it doesn’t matter so much for you to attract a mate. So let’s think about this, what is a man’s value? Is it his wealth? His confidence? His height? His physical presence? His ability to
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protect? His social network? His self awareness or level of consciousness? Well, it’s actually a combination of all of them. Now you may think, “Hey, I’m not that superficial.” Well… guess what? We all are superficial to some extent. That doesn’t mean we’re bad or evil. I believe that we have to respect our ancestry, respect our DNA and appreciate what it has done for us over the last few millions of years. Us women look for 2 base level things in men. Number 1 is the ability to protect and get resources. (So therefore finding a good provider), and the second thing is good genetics. So, it depends on what culture you are from, because different rules apply when it comes to what makes a man a good provider.
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In some cultures, a great provider is one who is the strongest and tallest. In some cultures, it’s the one with the sharpest suit sitting at the end of the long table. But it’s these indicators that us women are always looking for, whether we’re aware of it or not. So most of the time, the more a man displays his higher value and higher status, the more women would be attracted to him. Now I’m not suggesting that all women are “gold diggers” or just want men for their resources or whatnot, but for a man, there’ definitely more leverage in attracting women when you present as a good provider. That’s because we’re genetically hardwired for it, and it’s very hard for us to turn against our hardwiring. So on the other hand, when men see a high
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value, high status woman, he thinks to himself, “wow, she is really something. I really want to be with her. (In many different ways). Having her by my side elevates my own status and my own value. Having her in my life would really make me more worthy as a person. I wish she would be a part of my life.” Here’s a little truth about men that you may or may not know already. No matter how successful a man is, or how much he has accomplished, having a high value, high status woman next to him always raises his value and status to a new level. So the point is, men find high status, high value women attractive naturally. Men find low status, low value women unattractive naturally, even if she has good genes or good health. Look at superstars and celebrities who are
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often in the magazines… Beyond all the photoshopping and makeup, not all of them have the perfect genetic package. However, their overall amount of value and status makes them very desirable on all levels. It is subconscious, and we all do it. We all look up to high status high value people. It is a part of our tribal village mindset. No matter how attractive a woman is, a man will eventually get sick and tired of a woman who is low value, and want to move onto the next one who possesses more value.
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The Three Types of Value
So let’s take a moment to dissect what high value is. Well, as we established already, having high value as a man, boils down to 2 main things: his ability to provide, and his genetics. That’s why so many men love to work overtime, so he can become a better provider. There are many other strange behaviors that men get themselves into just to try and
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become a better provider, and I’m sure you can come up with a few right now. (And on a separate note, it’s difficult to change your own genes, but you can always present yourself in a better light. Ie. Have a fitter, healthier body, address any physical health issues, have proper posture and a sense of self esteem and worth) So what is value in a woman to a man? What do men find in women that is of value? I’ve thought a lot about this, and have come up with 3 main areas of value that a woman can have that appeals to a man. These 3 areas, when working together, can elicit a visceral sense of attraction within a man. So listen carefully. The first area is your reproductive value. Anything that makes you come across as
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reproductively fertile, is a sign of a woman’s reproductive value. Another way to describe your reproductive value, is your physical attractiveness. (And it’s not true that you can’t change your physical attractiveness, it is in fact very possible and sometimes easy to make yourself more and less physically attractive.) Now most men want to have a woman who looks like she could bear children. (this doesn’t mean you have to be 100% fertile and be able to bear children, the key here is to have the APPEARANCE of a woman who is fertile) So the reproductive value is triggering a man’s ancient hardwiring that motivates him to pass on his genes and have babies. The next area of value as a woman is your social value, also known as your social
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status. So how valuable are you in your social group or social circle? How do your friends see you and are you the leader in your circle or are you a follower? Men are more attracted to women who have a higher social status because that offers them more status by being with you. The last area of value as a woman is your spiritual value. Now, what I mean by spiritual isn’t a skill that you can only obtain by sitting in a cave on a blanket for 15 years. What spiritual value is, is a sense of light within you, a sense of awareness and higher consciousness, a high sense of self esteem and from that self esteem, a kind of generosity where you give purely for the joy of giving (because you know you have plenty
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more where it came from), and because you know that what you give, you get to keep. So someone who is immature and selfish, who doesn’t like to share, is an example of a person who doesn’t have much of this spiritual value. And no man would like a woman who is just out there to take resources from him. No one likes a taker. Rest assured, the men who are very rich in cash but who don’t have much spiritual depth tend to attract gold diggers. Now let’s delve a little deeper into these 3 different types of value.
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Increasing Your Reproductive Value
So as I mentioned, reproductive value is anything that resembles fertility and the ability to reproduce. And I’m sure you have an intuitive idea of how to increase your own reproductive value. Just think of how the modern society has ingrained in to us women to be more reproductively attractive. Think of the hundreds of types of makeup
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accessories out on the market. Think of the hundreds of hair care products (ironically most of them are NOT good for your hair) and hair extension products. Think of all the devices and ideas on how to look slimmer and more attractive, and all the gadgets being sold to help you lose excess weight. Think about breast enlargement surgeries that cost women thousands of dollars with a potential of getting seriously infected. Think about botox, nose jobs, lip injections, liposuction. We haven’t even gone into the world of fashion and expensive dresses just to make you look a certain way. You see, all of these modern day inventions are designed to increase your reproductive value, but the thing is, if you
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don’t understand the core of what men actually see as your reproductive value, then you’ll be wasting money and time and perhaps your health on things that could potentially hurt you in the long run. And sometimes you can get so overwhelmed with information that you don’t know what to do. So in this section, I want to simplify everything for you and tell you about 3 main things to focus on to massively increase your reproductive value which is also your overall physical attractiveness. Now we all know that men are highly visual creatures. So what visual cues trigger a man to instantly feel attraction and desire? You already know what these are from the 17 Attraction Triggers you got with Attraction Control Monthly. Read that again, and if you haven’t picked 3 main triggers to
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work on and build upon, do it NOW. And if you DID do the exercise and pick 3 to build on, pick another 3 and do it over again. Our job is to find the biggest and most effective areas to focus on, and not waste our time and energy on little things that simply don’t work, or work very ineffectively. (For example, taking an hour to do your nails may make you feel pretty, but it really isn’t very effective as a reproductive trigger. It is the icing to the cake if anything, but don’t mistake it for the cake.) So what is the most important physical attraction trigger? It’s the appearance of your hip to waist ratio. The first thing for you to focus on to increase your reproductive value is to accentuate the appearance of your hip to
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waist ratio. The FIRST and most crucial thing. So, anything that makes your hips look wider and your waist look narrower. Now, notice I said the APPEARANCE. Well, here’s the thing. Have you ever seen an optical illusion? Have you ever been amazed by an optical illusion and tried to work it out but your brain somehow tricks you every single time even when you’ve “understood” that it’s a trick? That’s because optical illusions are designed to trick your mind; not just your eyes. So you don’t necessarily need to have a perfect hip to waist ratio of 0.7 to 0.72. You just need the illusion of it. The way to do that is through how you dress and how you walk.
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(Just on a side note. Science has shown that the easiest way for us humans to decide whether another person is a male or female,when we can’t see their face, is by looking straight at their hips and deciding upon the hip to waist ratio. That is literally how our mind is wired. We don’t waste any time looking anywhere else other than the hips and waist to determine this. Women typically have a hip to waist ratio of 0.7 to 0.85. And men typically have a hip to waist ratio between 0.85 to 0.95.) So the point is, if you want to be seen as more “womanly” attractive, then exaggerate your hip to waist ratio and make it obvious. So let’s talk about how you should dress to get this effect. Just think about it for a moment. Your aim is to make your waist look slimmer, and your hips look wider. So it would make great sense to have something
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that is slightly tighter around your waist, and looser around your hips. This would exaggerate the hip to waist ratio. So imagine a woman in a tight blouse with a skirt. Now, imagine a woman in an oversized shirt that covers her waist. There’s a huge difference between the two in terms of the appearance of the exaggerated hip to waist ratio. The other thing you should focus on is how to walk to show off your hip to waist ratio. Now I’m sure you’ve seen models walk down the catwalk with their well practiced strut. I don’t want you to walk like that! (it’s just way to exaggerated for everyday life, people will think something strange is going on with you!) What you want to do and focus on instead
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is a thing called “lateral hip shunt” when you’re walking. (because when you move your hips sideways, it gives the appearance of much wider hips!) So how do we do this? Well, you would have already got a clue from the 17 Attraction Triggers. However, let’s give you a little extra insight. First of all, put your hands by your side. Now you should feel a hard bone at the top of your thighs on the outside of your legs. It should be around where your wrists are when you have your hands by your side. (You may have to move your hands back a little to find these two hard bones.) These bones are called the greatertrochanter and these bones are the ones responsible for giving you the appearance of wide hips.
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(Just a note, the appearance of your wide hips is actually NOT to do with your actual hip bones. Your actual hip bones reach up as far as your belly button, but the bones we’re talking about are a part of your femur, your leg bones. When your hips are measured, the widest point is always around the top of your femur and around your buttocks, rather than your actual hip bones.) So as you naturally walk, focus on exaggerating these two bones (greater trochanter) from side to side as you take steps. So as you put weight through your right leg, you should feel the right bone moving more towards the right side, and when you bear weight through the left leg, focus on the left greater trochanter jutting out sideways. You can try and walk right now with your hands on these just to feel the movement of
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them as you weight bear through each leg. Remember your hips are your best assets when it comes to triggering physical attraction in a man. The thing for you to focus on is how you dress to give yourself the appearance of a good hip to waist ratio, and how you walk to accentuate it. So the second thing to increase your reproductive value is your hair. I don’t know whether you have long hair, medium length hair or even short hair. I don’t discriminate against women who don’t focus on the health or appearance of their hair, but I cannot deny that long, healthy hair is a signal for reproductive health and value. You don’t have to have ridiculously long hair, that’s just overdoing it. You just need to have healthy hair that you make a conscious effort to take care of.
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Healthy hair that you take pride in is an attraction trigger for men. You can maintain it right in to your old age, and it is a real asset to you. The feminist movement and changes in the roles of men and women over time have encouraged women to have short hair in order to avoid the need for maintenance and of course, to flaunt their pride in ‘not catering to a man’s desires’. But, really, if we were honest; one of the reasons this idea came about is because some women felt marginalized by men, and felt ‘less’, and they didn’t feel any hope or have a compelling future, so they thought the only way to deal with it was to cop out and decide it was wrong to cater to a man’s attraction triggers. Well, you know David and I do not believe in catering to anyone’s needs.
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If you’re catering, you’re already behind – because catering is really just pleasing. It’s inauthentic and it’s worlds apart from truly GIVING. The reason you might want to have healthy hair, or even grow it long naturally, is for YOU. So that YOU can feel attractive and feminine. And when you feel attractive and feminine, the value you have to give to a man suddenly increases TEN FOLD. I’m not not kidding; because every man deep down wants a happy woman; a woman who radiates energy and feels attractive. He wants to have his woman happy, because it is a reminder that he is a good provider. So – right now, make a decision: Do you want to grow long, healthy hair? Or do you just want short or medium
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length healthy hair? Make a goal. For me, three and a half years ago, I got SO TIRED of going to hairdressers who insisted on creating nice ‘styles’ in my hair that really were just a way for them to feel like successful hairdressers. My hair was constantly kept at shoulder length when deep down, I’d always wanted waist length hair. So I promised myself to grow it out and to not visit a hairdresser for a year. I did it, and boy, did it pay off. I did have ratty hair for twelve months, but by then end of it, I had plenty f hair to work with to recreate my hairstyle and image. It takes a conscious effort to maintain nice hair, just as it does to maintain a healthy weight.
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Focus on your goal and do things daily to attain it. For healthy hair follow these rules: 1) Get boar bristle brush to brush your hair, to avoid breakage and snagging. Brush from the ends UP. 2) Wash it as little as possible. Take advantage of periods where you don’t have social engagements to let your hair get oily and to condition itself. 3) Focus on the HEALTH of your hair first and foremost, NOT the style of your hair. The style you want comes AFTER your hair health goal. Because styling usually detracts from the health of your hair. This is why so many women end up with ratty, terrible hair and they cannot grow it even if they try. They are not focusing on the correct thing! Not to mention styling takes away from
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any hair goals you have in the first place, because styling focuses on looks rather than maintenance. When I decided to grow my hair, I had to sacrifice styling and good looks for a minimum of 2 and a half years in order to get to my goal. This doesn’t mean my hair looked bad. It just meant that some nights out, I pulled it back in a ponytail so I didn’t have to wash it again, even when I knew it’d be prettier out and in curls or something. This way, my hair had a chance to really gain health and grow out. 4) Follow all the steps we give you in the 17 Attraction triggers to maintain healthy hair, and to grow it long, if that is what you want. The last thing that I want you to focus on
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in order to increase your reproductive value is: happiness and health. I was originally just going to say how health is everything, and that if you’re healthy, then you have great reproductive value, but I realized that reproductive health stretches way beyond that. I realized that the happier someone is, the healthier they tend to be. And also the healthier they are, the happier they tend to be. In fact - science has shown that the happier you are, the more your body is able to produce cancer fighting, immune-boosting hormones and bio-chemicals in your body to make your body stronger and resistant to disease. Now of course this is only a correlation, and definitely doesn’t apply to every single situation. I know some people who are happy
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when they’re not healthy, because they chose to become happier in their own lives. So the last thing I want you to focus on to increase your reproductive value, is to constantly strive to become healthier and healthier and happier and happier. Eat more green veggies and reduce processed “foods”. Drink a lot of water to flush your body of toxins. Start breathing deep into your lungs and tummy DAILY to fully oxygenate your lungs. Most of us are breathing so shallow because of incessant stress and the posture we get in to due to the daily stress of our lives and of course, office jobs. Take up some sort of physical activity. Do dancing once a week. Stretch your body in ways you’ve never stretched before. Move for the sake of moving. Move to just
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enjoy moving. Run around the house like a crazy kid. It changes your physiology and adds to your health and happiness. Collect movies that make you laugh, make you cry, make you inspired and make you grateful. Seek out what you’re passionate about and do it, again and again. When you’re healthy and happy, men will find you attractive naturally. In fact, happiness is a clear sign of value – and ALL three types of value. When you have ill health others will easily notice it subconsciously. It can be noticed through your skin tone, for example. When you’re not healthy and not happy all the time, eventually, men (and other people) get tired of it. They get tired of forking out their emotional, mental and physical resources to
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maintain a connection with you. Men will not want to be around you and worst of all, eventually you will drive men away from you, for good. We all have our bad days though. It’s when we make depression and ill health an excuse that it really damages our relationships, and most of all, damages ourselves.
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Increasing Your Social Value
Social value is the same idea so social status. You see, us humans live in a hierarchical society. We have for millions of years ever since the days of apes. So it is deeply etched and hardwired into all of us to seek higher value and seek a mate of higher value.
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There will never be the “equality” promised by social ideals such as communism. Think about it, there would never be a penthouse apartment if it wasn’t for all those levels of apartments underneath. And how did those countries which once practiced communism turn out? Corrupt did you say? (I’m sorry if that’s what you believe or wish for the world, even I, at one stage wanted to believe such a thing as equality for all. But now, I’m not as deluded to think that’s possible, so instead, I wish love and freedom for all.) Ok, what does this mean to you? Well, if you want to be irresistibly attractive to a man, be high value. If you want to keep a long-term relationship with a high value man, then stay high value, and don’t let
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yourself lose your standards. (One of the scariest things for men is to marry a woman; then only to see her let her standards go. He is scared that her radiance will diminish with every single donut that she eats and every pound that she puts on. He is afraid that she is no longer interested in taking care of herself and trying to look good. He is scared that she will become a “low value” female and other people will laugh at him for it. It’s not that he doesn’t love her, but he wants to know that she will stay high value to him, even after marriage, and even after having kids.) Ok, so social value is all about your ability to make friends, your ability to have conversations with other people, and how many friends and associates you have who value you. To put it simply, it’s just how
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popular you are. I know a lot of people don’t like this idea of popularity because it makes them feel “bad”, especially when we compare ourselves to celebrities for example, but it’s very much the truth, the more popular we are, the more value other people perceive we have. There’s a concept called pre-selection. Pre-selection basically means that if a lot of other people want your time and attention, then you must be valuable. Kind of like it’s self evident. You’re preselected. Even if it doesn’t make any sense; if a lot of people want you and your attention, then your attention must be valuable and you must be a valuable person. And same is true with attention from males. So if you get a lot of male attention, then you are “pre-selected” by other males, and it gives the impression that you must
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have a lot of value as a woman because all these men are wanting your attention. If all these men are wanting your attention then surely they can’t all be wrong and misguided. This reminds me of a quote by someone… “No woman wants a man that other women don’t want”. Jada Pinkett-Smith (Will Smith’s wife) said that. In other words, women do not want someone who isn’t wanted by others. And I think that applies the other way around as well. So no man wants a woman whom other men don’t want. Just really think about that for a moment. No man wants a woman whom other men don’t want! It really doesn’t matter how physically beautiful you are, how healthy you are, how generous and giving you are, if no other men find you attractive, then that is a sign that
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“there’s something wrong”. Men would think to themselves… “I don’t know why, but there’s just something NOT right here. Something doesn’t fit the picture. I don’t want to fall into a trap, now. If no one else wants her, then what does that say about her?... I better be more careful with my decisions…” The other benefit of being so called “popular” is that you increase your options. People who are popular have lots of options, whether that is men or friends or business deals, whatever it is - they have more options. And the more options someone has, the more perceived value they will have. So men would find you more appealing automatically, if he thinks that you have a lot of highly valuable and highly respected friends and associates, and highly valuable men desiring you.
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And by the way, what would happen if you are always hanging around a group of low value individuals? How do you think other men will see you then? Chances are, they will also see you as LOW value, just for having those friends. So I’m sure you’ve heard of this before, but I’ll say it again just to remind you… “who you hang around is who you become.” If you hang around high value people, you will naturally become higher value. If you hang around low value people, then you will naturally be pulled down to their level too. If you were hanging around a lot of other people with low value, people who don’t deserve a lot of respect in the society, by associating with them and having them in your peer group is not helping to add to your social value, in fact, it works against you.
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So I’m going to say it again… “Pick your friends carefully because who you hang around is who you become!” Most of us have had the same friends since … forever. And when we reach “adulthood”, our friend making abilities decline and so we try to hang onto the old friends we have, regardless of whether they’re making a positive influence in our lives or not. (In actual fact, our friend-making abilities didn’t decline; we just got too comfortable and stopped going out of our way to make friends because we weren’t looking ahead. We were looking more for instant gratification). In other words, if the friends we currently have are fulfilling our needs ‘enough’, we don’t make an effort elsewhere. So what you really want to achieve in order to have tremendous “social value”, is to be around, and associate with other high
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value and high status people and also become a leader of high value and high status people. Now, I don’t mean leader as in someone who “bosses” others around, that’s not leadership at all. Leadership means influence. Leadership is the ability to influence others. And in order to lead a group of already high value people, you would have to have so much to give to these people and that they would WANT to have you as an influence. Now, if you’re not as popular right now as you’d like to be; if you haven’t got as many connections as you’d like, and if you feel lonely, don’t worry. Everybody gets lonely, and sometimes, being socially “broke” is actually a GOOD thing.
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It forces you to do something about it; if you have high standards. Once you actually desire to make more friends, and prioritize it; it’s really easy to make new friends. So don’t worry if you are not where you want to be; everything will be ok. If you’re not where you want to be; it’s just a reminder that you need to grow. So here are a couple of very quick steps to get you on your way to becoming more popular and gaining your social value. First of all, learn to just connect with people. Really connect with all kinds of people. And start to build a network around you of people whom you value and whom also value you. Your circle of friends and peers is very important when it comes to your social value.
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You want to take the position of the center person in this circle of friends and influence people. This means that you don’t want to just passively follow others, but instead, actively nurture this circle of influence that you have. After all, if you nurture it well, it feeds back to your social value. So start to become more aware of how you’re seen socially. Actively make your social life better, make higher value friends who care about you, and start nurturing your own friendship circle. You’ll find that, since most people aren’t thinking ahead as much as they really should, you may have to take more initiative to START new friendships. Most people make some friends and stick with them, and then when they’re older (50 +), they end up lonely and without anyone to
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spend their time with. Especially when their long-term partner passes away. Then they can become a drain to be around. They haven’t grown enough to keep alert and full of energy so that they have value to add. They’ve just accepted aging as an inevitable “decline”. Just think about when you’re 80 – do you want to be that cool grandmother that even young kids want to spend their time with because you have so much value to add? Do you want people, young and old, and even young kids to come to you for advice, and to talk to you about things because they know you’ve got something of value to share with them? Or do you want to be that grandma or
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mother that people get really annoyed with because you’re moaning all the time about what’s wrong? So when it comes to making new friends, remember that you have to step outside of yourself. You have to do more than what is comfortable to move forward. You may have to take more interest in other people to start with; and really get to the crux of what THEY care about. Just think about how many people there are in the world! There’s never a shortage of people who would love to have a great friend like you. In fact, there are plenty of people right now, sitting there, thinking how nice it would be to have a friend just like you!
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Increasing Your Spiritual Value
Spiritual value. This is the area of value that occurred as we evolved to become human beings, and we developed the new level of brain (the “neo cortex”). Spiritual value is becoming more and more important as we evolve. Reproductive value and social value are important; but it’s the spiritual value that put the icing on the cake.
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Without spiritual value, people will eventually just get pissed off and irritated by your ego and self-centeredness, and stop associating with you; even if you DO have high social and reproductive value. But you need to have ALL to establish high value. Remember, every human being has an animal part and a human (spirit) part. Spiritual value is probably the least understood concept amongst all these different types of value. There are so many people in the world who “think” they’re spiritual because they meditate or whatever, but that isn’t true spirituality. There are so many people in the world who try to pretend they’re spiritual, yet back stab other people when they’re not looking, bitch
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behind other’s backs, and actively sabotage everything around themselves. And of course, there are tones of people who pay LOTS and LOTS of money to go to very expensive seminars and events that are designed to help them grow and become more spiritual; but they NEVER take any action and make things change. David and I were perplexed by this at first, because we both often like to attend seminars that we find will help us grow and learn even more. And even people we met and made connections with at some of the highest end seminars turned out to be people who were far from spiritual; even years after attending the event. Do you know what we found? We found that most of the people we met
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there never put the principals to use and what’s more – they were going just to feel good about themselves, or to feel “significant” that they attend events like those. Of course, there are always people who really do demand a lot from themselves and are genuinely spiritual, caring and compassionate people. Yet, a lot of people are just fake spiritual. There’s a term that’s circulated that describes people like this. it’s called a “spiritual snob”. People start to think they KNOW IT ALL. That is fake spiritual. And it’s not what makes you a spiritual human being who truly has spiritual value. Spirituality certainly isn’t about bragging to others how “spiritual” you are, in fact, if you’re truly spiritual advanced, you would
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have no need to brag to anyone. People use the excuse of spirituality to make themselves feel significant, (feel “good enough”). However - spirituality has nothing to do with significance, but rather connection, growth and contribution. Let’s for a moment, erase the image of a Buddhist monk wearing a loin cloth meditating as the idea of ultimate spirituality. And instead, think about individuals like mother Teresa, who helped thousands of people on their death beds as a symbol of spirituality. Think about individuals who volunteer and help out the homeless, the sick, the disadvantaged (and who don’t use it too look down on others who don’t) as a symbol of spirituality. Think about men who run into burning down buildings to save the lives of strangers
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as a symbol of spirituality. To me, spirituality is about connecting with people, not about silence, isolation and meditation. Spirituality is your ability to get out of your own self, (embody more than just your ego), and really give value to your immediate family, the people around you, and eventually the whole world. It’s about giving, not seeing what you can get back, but giving because it lights you up that you have such a unique gift to give. I’m here to tell you that you have a unique gift to give to your relationship, your family and also the world. A unique gift that no one else possesses. No one else has ever tried to make a change like the one you are about to make in your relationship, your family and the world.
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You have the unique gift to do so. (If someone had made the change you’re about to make, then it wouldn’t be called “make a change”, it would be called “keep the sameness”) So what is spiritual value? It’s generosity, it’s compassion, it’s love, it’s the ability to put yourself in other’s shoes and really feel their pain and feel their joy. It’s about taking care of yourself first so that your ego (AKA, your lizard brain) doesn’t pop up and get defensive, jealous and fearful. It’s about knowing that the world is more than just ME, but rather WE. There’s nothing wrong with feeling jealous and fearful at times, too. Remember, we all have different parts to us. Don’t reject your different personalities, and don’t judge yourself for being jealous or anything.
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Judgments of yourself actually take you further and further away from gaining spiritual value. So how does spiritual value influence and affect your love life? Well, think about this. Do men find it more attractive to have a woman who “understands” men, or a woman who doesn’t get men? I think the answer is obvious. Men prefer women who “understand” men, and be understanding rather than judgmental. The difference, for a man, in being together with a woman who doesn’t understand men and being with a woman who DOES is tenfold. There IS no comparison, in fact. If you are a woman who understands men, then he can much more easily feel that freedom that every man strives for every
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second of the day in everything he does. A woman who understands men also adds far more value to a man’s life than a woman’s who doesn’t. (Just imagine dating a man who doesn’t understand women at all and you will know how frustrating it is…) Do men prefer generous women? Or women who take and take and take resources? I’m sure you know the answer. In fact, if you’re looking to inspire further commitment from a man, you have to give first. You have to give him your trust first. No man would ever feel safe enough to take your hand in marriage when he’s afraid that you might just take all of his resources (legally) for the rest of his life.
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Give before you ever think about taking. I’m sure you have heard that before; but it’s time to do it. Put it into action and your whole life will change. As the great thinker Joe Polish would say… “Be a fountain not a drain.” Inject love, inject attraction into your life. Give more to the people around you, and stop taking all the resources from people and life. Be a value creator and not a value extractor. Also, another note… Give to your man what he really needs, not what you think he needs. That is so profound that I will say it again… Give to your man what he needs, not what you think he needs. Unfortunately it is outside the scope of this
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volume to talk about what a man really needs, but let me just give you some valuable insights quickly. Men want to be heroes, they want to stand out and become the greatest in his tribe. Most men want to be the tribe leader. Men are designed to be hunters, and everything they do has to have a purpose. Have you ever spoken to a man and he’s totally zoned out? It’s because he doesn’t see a purpose in having the conversation. A lot more men die as virgins than women. And the reason isn’t that men don’t like sex, but does it shed some light on why men get so focused on sex? Men value freedom intensely. I think Mel Gibson has shown all of us this message in the movie Braveheart. Now, I’m not going to delve deeper in to
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the specifics of men and how they operate… I can go on for days and days about it, because not only is it fascinating, but when you truly understand what men need, it will transform your love life forever. (I’m actually in the process of developing a whole program on just understanding men, which is going to be my most valuable program to date.) So how do you increase your spiritual value? First of all, become more aware and more conscious. Start learning and keep learning. Expand your mind. Read books like … “Man’s search for meaning” by Viktor Frankl, “Psychocybernetics” by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, “You can heal your life” by Louise Hay. Become the next, more advanced version
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of yourself. Learn more about the world and have more compassion for every single person you come across. Stop judging others and start asking questions like… “I wonder what they must be going through, or what they must be feeling in order to take that action…?” Be curious and learn about the world, and learn about yourself. What you’ll realize is that this is a journey which will eventually lead you to actualization and fulfillment. Compassion is the key to spiritual growth and spiritual value. Compassion for your MAN – even when he has done everything wrong, will transform your relationship and glue him to you like you would never believe. Most women never have the guts to do this.
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The second thing I want you to focus on is becoming more generous. Be more giving and get into the habit of giving. Life is full of value extractors already, so in order to really stand out, you have to learn to become an outstanding value creator and giver. So… be a fountain, not a drain! Learn ways to give to the people who are closest to you first, and every moment you give, you will realize that your life is becoming richer and richer. Of course, don’t make the mistake of trapping yourself in to being a pleaser. And for certain, watch out for people who sense your giving nature and want to take from you. In my work, often, if I help a woman once, which I do often (even though they have not
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paid me anything), a lot of times they expect it from me again. Of course, I don’t give it again. If I DID I wouldn’t really be giving to them; because they need to find the answers by themselves too. And in fact, I wouldn’t really be giving to myself, either. What would be happening is I’d be creating a friendship based upon reliance and that is a transaction. Once someone relies on you for something or starts to EXPECT something from you, what you have is a transaction and the friendship or relationship is no longer authentic. It’s just a trade.
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Low Value & Low Status Signs
When it comes to being a high value woman, there are signs and cues that men and even other women pick up on that tell them, subconsciously, about your value as a woman in the world. Certain behaviors will give off the impression (to a man), that you are low value. Men pick up on this; and though you may be in a long-term relationship where you
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know your man already loves you; he’ll simply feel your presence differently in the relationship if you give off the impression of low value; and that you are looking to squeeze something out of him, or to ‘get’ something out of him through your behaviors. So here are the top signs of low value. Nagging – women are good at it, and they tend to do it without knowing. If you’re nagging, you’re basically saying: “I don’t have any other ways to get your attention.” “all I know to do is be a pain in the ass, and to ruin your day with my constant droning.” The typical sign of nagging is this: Asking a man to do something for you repeatedly in the exact same manner, and from the exact same emotional place. If a man forgets to do something after you ask, it’s time to get serious. And by ‘get
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serious’, I mean, learn new ways to remind him or ask him for it. Play with him. Make jokes out of the thing that hasn’t been done. Best of all – change your mindset and perception about the thing not being done. Is it the end of the world that it hasn’t been done? No. and it never will be. If you ever find yourself nagging Ask yourself: “what’s more important. My relationship, or getting him to do this thing?” And if you’re honest with yourself; and your answer is to get him to do this thing you want done; it’s time to reconsider whether you really deserve a relationship. A man will only do things when you nag just to please you or out of OBLIGATION. And things that are done out of obligation
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KILL any attraction that exists. And, that’s what nagging is bout, isn’t it? It’s just about obliging a man to do something. If you want to kill the attraction and the romance he feels for you; nag. It’s the best way. Neediness – let me get this straight. There is the neediness that is expressed in a way that actually ENDEARS a man to you and makes you charming to him. You can be needy and poke fun at him or come up with new, fun and creative ways to get his attention, and he won’t be able to resist you. In fact, he probably wants you to do it. However, most women express their neediness in the form of checking up on him, requiring this and that to be done by him at a certain time; or always demanding something when they’re not getting it.
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Needy behavior; behavior that restricts his freedom is sending this message: I’m so low value that I cannot find ways to meet my own needs. The highest value people know exactly how to meet their own needs when they feel lonely, depressed or stuck in a rut. It’s simply about getting out of yourself and challenging yourself. It’s about doing whatever it takes to get happy – NOT finding excuses for why you are never happy and always needing something. Here are signs of neediness: Trying to get his attention in aggressive ways. Always wanting more from him than you’re willing to give. Expecting something BEFORE you’re
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willing to give anything. (wanting him to “go first” all the time). Forgetting the GOOD things he’s done, and focusing on the bad. Trying to get something from him when he’s indicated that he wants to be free or left alone. Desperation – this one is one of the worst, and one of the easiest states to get in to for most women. Women who feel desperate usually have a hard time getting ANY man to stay past the first date. Remember to start thinking and acting from the mindset that you’re a celebrity, and that you have 1,000 other options. Desperation doesn’t get you far because desperation is you sending a signal that says “I have no other options. I am undesirable. Nobody else wants me to be their woman. I
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am a bad mate.” In the animal kingdom, which is where we evolved from, if you are desperate, it usually means you don’t have mating opportunities. The same applies with human beings. Except there’s more. If you feel desperate and act from this place of desperation, then you’re really sending a signal that says you would make a terrible long-term mate because you don’t have a clue what is good for the relationship. And you’re more concerned about getting something for yourself than you are about anything or anyone else. I’m not saying you can never feel desperate. Desperation really can serve you at times. It’s like jealousy. People think jealousy is so bad – but it’s not the emotion itself that is bad. It’s you making DECISIONS from this place of desperation that is bad for your
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relationship. It’s not USING the emotion in the right way. The great thinker and peak performance coach Anthony Robbins once said something that really, really stuck with me: “In life, you need inspiration or desperation.” In other words, you need either inspiration or desperation to get you to do something great; to achieve something. So desperation can be a reminder that you need to get your groove on and start thinking more highly of yourself. And the key here is YOURSELF. Whenever you feel desperate, it’s not about HIM and what he is not doing or what you’re not getting; it’s about YOU. We tend to make it about the other person, or other people, when we feel desperate. We
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think it’s because they are not doing this or that. What you really need though; is to spend time with you, and get in to a better emotional state. The counter-thought to feelings of desperation, if you ever need it, is this: “I have everything I could ever need within me right NOW to do, be, have and experience ANYTHING I could possibly want in this life. Even the things that seem beyond my wildest dreams right now.” Here are signs of desperation: Sleeping with men on the first date all the time. Sleeping with a man even though in your gut, you feel like it’s not the right time, or the right thing to do.
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Seeking a man’s approval (trying to justify everything you do and every action you take, trying to be like him all the time). Dressing in a way that is revealing all the time. There is a time and place for everything. All women seek attention; but when you’re always dressing in a way that is ‘letting everything out’ for the world to see, the kinds of men you will attract are very low quality. Being overly loud at social events; talking all the time and not allowing others to talk. Have you ever been around a person who is really LOUD? The empty vessel makes the most noise. When you don’t lack substance; you scream and yell and reveal everything to try to get attention.
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Becoming Higher Value NOW
Ok, so let’s talk about some exercises. We’ve covered a lot of great content in this month’s Attraction Control Monthly, so it’s time for you to take action. There are 3 types of value that I want you to actively increase from now on. To increase your reproductive value… let’s focus on the things that are going to get you maximum results first.
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So focus on improving your hip shunt whilst walking. We talked about this earlier in the reproductive value chapter, so now it’s important for you to practice it when you walk. Relax your shoulders and remember most of us are so tense all the time, which totally kills any kind of femininity or flow. Also take great care of your hair. It is a huge trigger for men and is really worth your attention over many other parts of your own body. Healthy and vibrant hair is a much bigger reproductive and attraction trigger than almost anything else and men instinctively know this. So the next time you think of pampering yourself, check out the hair salon before the nail salon.
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And lastly, get healthier and happier. There’s nothing more attractive to a man than a naturally happy woman. So start learning ways to make yourself naturally healthier, and happier. (I can give you 1001 suggestions, but at the same time, you need to discover what they are for yourself.) Perhaps that’s making yourself vegetable juices every day, eating more raw organic foods and less junk, maybe it’s taking up yoga or pilates, or maybe it’s about reading books that really make you happy. Whatever it is that is going to get you happier and healthier, I want you to write down at least 2 action steps that you want to take right now and commit to it for the next 3 weeks. Make it a habit so that you are consciously
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directing your life for the better. So to sum up the exercises for you… 1) Practice walking with a slight hip shunt at home for the first week, and then practice it in the outside world for the second week. Get comfortable with it first, and then make it a habit. (A great idea is to watch models walk on the catwalk, all you have to do is find some videos on Youtube. Watch and copy.) 2) Commit to taking better care of your hair. This will usually take a bit more time and effort, but the rewards are definitely worth it. I know, because as my hair got longer, it took me much longer to actually brush it and keep it in good condition. That’s the commitment that you need to make to yourself. 3) Write down and do at least 2 things that you KNOW will make you both happier and healthier in the long term. (Chocolate may
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make you happy in the short term, but won’t make you happy and healthy long term, so it’s not the best option for you.) Commit to doing these 2 things for the next 3 weeks and notice the difference it has made in your life. Ok, that sums up everything in terms of increasing your reproductive value. What about social value? Here are some exercises for you to do… Firstly, start acting like a celebrity in your own world. Think about it: in a world where you are in the limelight and you have all the options in the world; would you still need to act desperate? Would you still settle for that same man, or that same relationship? When you hold yourself as a celebrity and as a person who has options, the decisions
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you make in your life are completely different to the decisions you make if you see yourself as an average ‘Joe’. So here’s what I want you to do. If anytime in the future, you reach a crossroad where you don’t know what to do, or when you come across a problem in your relationship or friendships where you don’t know what decision to make; Ask yourself this… “If I was a high value celebrity; would I do this? If not, what would I do instead?” And let your answer dictate what actions you shall take. Or you may try this question… “If I had 1000 other options right now, would I still do what I’m about to do?” You see, what you’ll realize after asking yourself these question, is that it doesn’t matter who you are, you actually do have lots
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of other options. You don’t have to settle. You have so many other choices and options in the world. And the other thing I want you to focus on is to create and nurture a social circle where those individuals are high value themselves and you have an active influence in that social circle. This might mean you have to reconsider your existing social circle, and friends. It may mean you have to inspire them to be higher value too, or you may want to seek out a new circle of peers who will lift you up and not weigh you down. Do this NOW. Choose now what you’ll do, because every moment and every day that passes where you’re spending time with low quality people who just want to extract value from others, is
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another day you are making yourself low quality and low status. Who you spend time with is who you become. Lastly, here are 2 exercises for you to increase your own spiritual value. 1) Make learning and growth your biggest and most important focus. Learn about the world, learn about human psychology, learn about men and women, learn about love, learn about other cultures. Learn to have compassion and forgiveness. Learn what it’s like from someone else’s point of view. So write down 2 things you are going to learn in the next month, and actively research them, find out more about them and become curious. It’s time to evolve and become the next version of yourself.
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2) Start giving. Now this doesn’t have to cost you money. You can start by giving your time, your attention, your labor, r insight, your energy and focus, your compassion, or your love. In fact, the things that money can’t buy are the most valuable things for you to give. So start with those who are around you. Write down 2 people that you want to start giving to now, and then brainstorm everything you could do to give to them. Give yourself 10 minutes for this exercise, and just come up with all the things you could potentially do to give to them and to add more value to their lives. It could be a gift, an experience or it could just be your love. And then, just give that to them, without expecting anything in return, and just enjoy the act of giving.
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After all the only way to keep the people in you love and value in your life forever is to add more value to their life than anybody else does! I know that all seems like a lot of exercises to take in, but you see, they all work synergistically to make you infinitely more attractive as a human being, as a woman and as an eternal soul. So I hope you treasure this journey, because it will eventually lead to a life of passion, excitement and ultimate fulfillment.
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Next Volume of ACM
That’s it for another volume of Attraction Control Monthly. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and learnt a lot from it. I know there was a lot of content, a lot of exercises, so I hope I haven’t overwhelmed you with the amount of information. It is so important to be a person of high
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status and high value in this world, and it’s important for you to become a woman of high value in order to trigger the attraction desire and you wish from men. You see, getting a man’s attention and adoration is not about doing this and doing that, (ie. Trying to be mysterious etc). It’s just simply raising your own value and status. Then you will effortlessly be “mysterious”, and attractive. So I really hope you take away the exercises and apply them in your own life. Now I’ll bet you’re wondering what is in next month’s issue of Attraction Control Monthly. It’s something of immense value once you truly understand it. Here’s the idea that I want to get through to you next month… If you want to attract a “certain type” of
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man, or attract a certain personality from your existing man, then you’ll have to be a “certain type” of woman in order to do that. So if you’re an extreme party girl… guess what kind of men you will most likely to attract? You guessed it, party “boys”. The type of guys who love to party and play, but perhaps are not the most responsible humans in the world. So you really have to think about who it is you want to attract, and who you have to be to attract that type of man! So I’m going to share “The 8 Feminine Roles That Allure & Attract Men” in the next volume of Attraction Control Monthly. I can tell you… this is going to be exciting! But that’s a story for next month, for now, go and do your exercises, and we will see you
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again in the next month’s issue of Attraction Control Monthly! Take care now!
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About the Authors Renee Wade World Authority and Leader on Femininity, Love Passion & Intimate Relationships.
What*began*as*a*journey*out*of*incredible*pain*in*her*own*past*relationships* with*men,*became*a*passion*and*a*mission*to*help*other*women*from*across*the* world*show*up*as*higher*value,*higher*status*women.*Through*her*own* struggles,*Renee*found*that*when*you*hold*yourself*as*High*Value*and*High* Status,*you*have*all*the*power*when*it*comes*to*men,*and*you*attract*the* passionate*and*loving*relationship*that*other*women*envy.** Renee’s*blog*“The*Feminine*Woman”*has*reached*and*impacted*the*lives*of*over* half*a*million*women*across*the*world*in*the*matter*of*18*months*and*continues* to*inspire*and*teach*women*today.**** Through*this*process,*she*has*advised*and*coached*many*wellLknown*individuals* and*as*well*as*a*number*of*celebrities,*including*newsreaders,*politicians,* lawyers*and*doctors.* But*it*isn’t*just*a*straight*forward*success*story.*
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*
Many*years*ago,*Renee*found*herself*in*a*horrible*nightmare.* She*found*herself*lying*on*the*floor*next*to*her*bed,*exhausted*from*crying*for* days*&*nights.*She*had*spent*almost*four*years*with*a*man*who*she*thought*she* had*a*future*with,*but*it*all*turned*out*completely*the*opposite.* It*was*a*moment*where*she*realized*that*the*one*person,*who*was*supposed*to* care*for*her*and*protect*her,*didn’t.*It*was*a*moment*where*she*needed* protection*from*her*man*from*physical*danger,*but*instead,*he*ran*away.* Her*heart*sank,*and*along*with*it*her*hopes*of*that*relationship*ever*working*out.* She*realized*that*she*had*settled*for*much*less*than*what*she*deserved*in*a* relationship.* That*day*was*the*day*Renee*realized*that*she*had*been*living*a*lie,*dating*the* wrong*man,*and*wasting*her*youth*away,*as*well*as*her*life.* Tired*of*blaming*herself,*blaming*him*and*the*situation,*Renee*set*out*to*find* answers.** Why*did*she*attract*that*man*and*that*relationship*into*her*life?*How*could*she* ever*trust*a*man*again?*How*could*she*move*on*from*this*hurtful*and* embarrassing*experience*and*help*other*women*do*the*same?* Renee*didn’t*find*the*answers*to*these*questions*immediately.*Rather,*it*took* many*highLend*seminars,*expensive*multimedia*programs,*painful*trial*and* error,*and*dozens*of*books*to*get*to*where*she*is*now.* Now*she*has*met*the*man*of*her*dreams,*fallen*in*love*and*living*a*secure,* fulfilling*and*exciting*relationship.*No*more*living*in*anxiety,*no*more*living*in* fear,*and*now*Renee*is*on*a*mission*to*take*this*knowledge*and*share*it*with* everyone*she*comes*across!* It*gives*her*ultimate*fulfilment*to*see*you*become*high*value*high*status,*attract* the*man*of*your*dreams*and*be*safe*and*secure*in*that*deeply*committed* relationship.** *
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*
David Shen Authority & Researcher on Attraction, Commitment & Long Term Intimate Relationships.
Over*the*past*several*years,*David*has*been*obsessed*with*the*theories*and* practice*of*creating*attraction*and*inspiring*commitment*in*intimate* relationships.* Together*with*Renee*for*many*years,*he*has*been*researching*on*these* important*topics*and*has*come*to*some*interesting*conclusions.* He*believes*that*it*is*possible*to*live*your*life*being*in*love*and*having*not*only* excitement*but*security*that*comes*with*a*longLterm*relationship.* He*believes*that*you*deserve*to*attract*a*man*who*doesn’t*just*love*you,*but* worships*you*and*will*take*care*of*you*forever.** It*doesn’t*matter*what*your*background*is,*your*ethnicity,*your*age,*or*your* physical*qualities,*you*can*do*this*because*of*the*feminine*energy*you*that*you* already*have*inside*of*you.** And*it’s*this*feminine*essence*&*energy*that*will*make*men*fall*in*love*with*you.**
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*
David*believes*that*in*order*for*you*to*become*that*woman*that*men*adore,*are* attracted*to*and*want*to*commit*deeply*to,*you*will*have*to*learn*a*few*key* qualities*and*a*few*key*skills.* You*will*have*to*understand*the*qualities*of*femininity*as*opposed*to* masculinity,*the*qualities*of*emotional*attraction,*and*the*specific*qualities*that* you*need*in*order*to*inspire*commitment*from*men.* David*is*also*a*big*believer*in*having*practical*skills*when*it*comes*to*your* intimate*relationship.*He*believes*you*need*the*skill*of*getting*a*man’s*attention* when*he’s*pulled*away,*the*skill*of*indicating*high*value*and*high*status*instead* of*being*treated*like*a*doormat*girl,*and*the*skill*of*really*connecting*with*men* heart*to*heart.* He*believes*that*every*woman*needs*to*understand*these*qualities*and*have* these*skills*in*their*love*lives.*Without*these,*even*if*you*are*a*celebrity*or* supermodel,*you*will*inevitably*be*heartbroken,*disappointed,*frustrated*and* empty*of*love.* So*David*has*made*it*his*mission*to*spread*the*word*and*share*these*qualities* and*skills*with*all*the*women*he*comes*across.* And*when*there*are*more*quality*relationships*in*this*world,*then*David*is* certain*that*there*will*be*less*violence,*less*suffering,*and*less*child*abuse*and* more*cohesion*in*our*world.* *
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*
