A
TTRACTION
C
ONTROL
M
ONTHLY
VOLUME 4
RENEE WADE & DAVID SHEN
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ATTRACTION CONTROL MONTHLY Volume 4 “Every Moment Counts”
Attraction Control Monthly Program
Attraction Control Monthly is a monthly subscription program designed for women to learn the knowledge and skills in attracting a man for the long-term and becoming more attractive to men. As you probably know already, attraction is a very important element of life and relationships. It will determine whether you will be able to attract the man of your life, whether you will be able to keep that man, and perhaps even the difference between saving a marriage or seeing it collapse. Every month, you will be sent a new volume of Attraction Control Monthly, with brand new concepts, ideas, and exercises. So keep yourself subscribed, and learn the ideas and skills to have a passionate and exciting love life other women could only dream about.
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The Bad Girl Notice: Attraction Control Monthly is copyright 2012 - 2020 with all rights reserved. It is illegal to copy, distribute, or create derivative works from this book in whole or in part, or to contribute to the copying, distribution, or creating of derivative works of this book. Here is the statement on my website reprinted for your reference: "© All Rights Reserved. If you try to copy, steal, or distribute all or any part of my book or this web page without permission, I will have my attorney contact you and make you wish that you'd never had such a stupid idea in your life. Count on it. By purchasing this book, you agree to the following: You understand that the information contained on this page and in this book is an opinion, and it should be used for personal entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of this book is to be considered legal or personal advice." “All the images in this series are for entertainment purposes. Extreme care has been taken to make sure credit goes to the rightful owner however that may not always be possible. If any of the images belong to you, then please contact us and we will give you the rightful credit” And I expect you to abide by these rules. I regularly and actively search the Internet for people who violate my copyrights. Now that we're finished with the bad girl notice, let's learn about how to build and maintain attraction with a man...
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Contents The Moments of Our Lives… ....................... 5! It Just Didn’t Feel Right… ......................... 11! The Quality of Your Relationship… .......... 17! Why The Passion is GONE? ....................... 27! Every Moment Changes Your EA............. 31! Happy & Horrible Associations ................ 39! Two Ways Associations Shift Over Time . 61! Stop Creating Negative Associations! ..... 69! Don’t Be Boring Either............................... 73! The Law of Familiarity .............................. 78! Creating Euphoric Associations ............... 85! Too Late to Turn Back? ............................. 95! Your New 880 Rule ................................. 100! Next Volume of ACM ............................... 105!
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The Moments of Our Lives…
Hey, it’s Renee and David here. Welcome to another issue of Attraction Control Monthly. This issue is called “Every Moment Counts”. So follow us in this volume and discover one of the most powerful concepts that is going to affect your relationship long term. And I am not exaggerating one bit because the concept that I will introduce you to, is literally as powerful and as consistent as the
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law of gravity. You don’t notice gravity from day to day, but it has a huge affect on your life regardless of what you do or don’t do. So let’s start. Think about this for a moment. Do you remember vividly where you were or what you were doing two days before 9/11 happened? What about on the morning of 9/11? My bet is that you remember vividly where you were on the day of 9/11 but not so much where you were two days prior to it. You see, when you think about it, life isn’t so much a continuum of time and space, (with our bodies just flowing through that time and space) as much as it is our experience of those particular moments of our lives.
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The moments that made us cry, the moments that made us laugh until we kneeled over in pain, the moments when the bad news came and we had no idea how to deal with it, or the moments when we just opened our eyes to the love of our life. We experience moments and remember moments; that’s just how it works. So I think at the end of the day, every single one of us just wants to create and experience those wonderful memorable moments for ourselves. So as you read through this volume of Attraction Control Monthly, just keep in mind, that what we really want, deep down inside, is to experience those “moments” – because moments magnify our emotions. Now I don’t know what kind of moments you want to experience. It could be that initial attraction for a man that you feel that
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raises your pulse, and makes your heart skip a beat. It could be the experience of him taking you out somewhere mysterious. It could be the moment that he gets on one knee and asks you to be his wife. I’m sure you have some idea of what those experiences and those moments are for you personally. So keep that end goal in mind, as we progress through this module. So before I start, let me ask you this. Why do you want to have a man or multiple men feel attraction for you? Why do you want to be desirable? No, really. Think about this just for a moment. Why do you want to have that deeply committed relationship where your man pays
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you more attention than any other man to their woman? Well, you may say… “if he was to be deeply committed to me, then I wouldn’t have anything to worry about. I can feel secure and I can be assured that I can have kids.” Ok, so my next question is… “why do you want to be assured and why do you want to have kids?” You may answer… “well, if I’m assured, then I will feel safe and secure. If I have kids, then I will be able to give my love and receive love.” But why do you want to feel safe and secure, or love and receive love? “Well, then I will feel… good!” I think at the bottom of all of this, (and the bottom of everything that we do), we just
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want to feel good. We want to experience “good” feelings and stay away from the bad feelings. We all want a quality intimate relationship where we can be our real selves and experience moments of joy, love ecstasy, and euphoria. So in this volume of Attraction Control Monthly, we’re going to look into what gives you and controls those amazing feelings in your relationship.
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It Just Didn’t Feel Right…
It was a beautiful spring morning, the sun was as bright and happy as it can be. As we got on our bikes with the fuzzy warmth of the sun on our backs, it felt like a deja vu from a scene in a movie. It was the perfect day for a bike ride around the bay with a lovely girl I met a few
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weeks ago. We instantly took a liking to each other and I suggested that we should go do some bike riding around some amazing scenery. She was very keen and I was happy to be connecting with her. She really seemed like a genuine and lovely individual, someone who’s hard to come by in this day and age. But it’s funny sometimes things don’t turn out exactly how we had planned them in our head. After 5 minutes of being on our bikes, her whole mood changed. She no longer had a smile on her face, and she was dragging five to ten meters behind me. What was wrong, I thought to myself? I turned around and asked if she was ok, but there was hardly a response. She was
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silent and had a gloomy look on her. So I kept riding for a couple more minutes but I started to feel very uneasy. Was she upset at me? Did I do something wrong? By this time, my joyful and openness has completely evaporated into the misty morning. I was getting to the point of agitation and annoyance. So I suddenly pull the brakes to a stop, got off the bike and decided to speak to her. I truly wanted to know what was wrong. But instead of getting an answer, all I got was defensive remarks and a general sense of not wanting to be here. By the way, imagine yourself in this situation, does it make you want to spend more time with this friend or less time? Less of course right?
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And this awful tension between us lasted for about half an hour, before it started to lift. In that time I had, for several moments, seriously considered going straight back home. What I found out later that morning was that, my friend, a lovely person she is, had a terrible association with riding bikes. Her dad used to ride together with her as a child and would always ride way ahead and leaving her behind. She would get sick and tired of riding, but her dad would never stop to look after her. And from those childhood experiences, she had learnt to automatically feel bad and defensive whenever she rode a bike. This was an emotional association that she couldn’t control, just like the famous experiment Pavlov’s dog couldn’t control it’s
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own salivation when the bell rang. I understood her instantly when she explained it all to me. And for the next hour or so, we sat down and connected over a hot drink. In my head, I knew it wasn’t her fault for what happened. She had old wounds that haven’t healed. Unfortunately, that morning also left me with a bad emotional association with spending time with this particular friend. Remember this is NOT logical, you can’t just talk yourself out of it. Emotional associations are much deeper in your mind and body, and much more powerful than just logical thoughts. Even if I didn’t want to have this bad association with her, it would inevitably happen because of the events that unfolded.
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Logically, I can understand her and I forgive her. But emotionally, I was left with a very bitter taste in my mouth metaphorically. You see, if you want others to like you and respect you, then you have to leave lasting positive associations with them. Sometimes we don’t mean to leave negative associations, but it just happens because of habits, old patterns, and sometimes just bad states that we get ourselves into. For now, we need to start to become more conscious with what types of associations we are leaving upon others!
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The Quality of Your Relationship…
I think at this stage, it is fair to say that we all want to feel deeply connected to someone where we feel like we know their soul and they know ours. And we all want to feel that sense of attraction or be in the state of “being in love”. We all want a quality relationship where we feel like we’re the most important thing in the world to that person.
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We all love to be worshipped and cherished. But what dictates the quality of those feelings in your life and in your relationship? The answer is your emotional associations. What are your emotional associations? Your emotional associations are the automatic feelings that arise from inside of you when there’s a certain trigger or stimulus in your environment. (here’s the key point – it must be automatic, and not through your logical convincing) So let me give you an example. When I say the word “chocolate”, what are the automatic feelings that come up from within you? Do you get this warm feeling in your gut that craves it? Or perhaps you’re kind of
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neutral to chocolate so you don’t feel much emotion when the topic of chocolate comes up. Or maybe you could have a very negative association with chocolate (perhaps because you once ate sooooo much of it that you threw up and it turned you off chocolate forever!) So just take a moment right now to notice what feelings and emotions come up when you think of chocolate. That is precisely your emotional association with chocolate. How about another example… What do you feel… when you hear sirens behind you and see flashing red lights in your rear vision mirror as you’re driving? For those of you who have been pulled up by the police before, I’ll bet that this is one association you have deeply etched into your
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nervous system. So as you’re driving, anytime, you see red flashing lights and hear a siren behind you, you probably automatically get all tense and those “bad” feelings come up again. You can’t even control those feelings. They just pop up all by themselves. In fact, you probably even tried to convince yourself out of those bad feelings but they just don’t go away. You see, your emotional associations are automatic, they are strong and create potent feelings inside of you when there’s a trigger nearby. I’ll give you an example: have you ever had a moment where you thought of somebody in your life or from your past. And you felt really fondly towards them? Maybe it was a girl you once knew in
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school, maybe it’s a girlfriend; or maybe a past boyfriend, or even your current lover. And just the THOUGHT of them made you feel so GREAT? But, if somebody actually asked you: “So, why do you smile so big when you think of [insert name of person you are fond of here]?” And you couldn’t really explain why? And, often if someone asked you what that someone DID to make you LIKE them so much; you couldn’t even think of what they did to make you like them so much? This is your emotional association at work. Your group of friends could HATE a certain person; but inside, you secretly really like them, because for one reason or another; your association with them is great.
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See, people might forget what you SAY to them, and they might forget most of what you DO for them – but they will NEVER forget how you made them FEEL. Their body doesn’t forget it. So, you could do really nice things for someone in a neutral state for many years; and they never call you back or make the effort to befriend you again; and you’re wondering: ‘but I did all these nice things for them!! How could they forget it?’ Well; it’s true: some people are just selfish and ungrateful; and their lives are all about themselves; so that could be one reason why. But another big reason why is because of the magic of emotional associations. It’s the way you make someone feel. Again, it’s not logical.
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So bringing this back to relationship… what you really need to have an outstanding relationship is to have a sensational association with your partner. This is so important I will say it again. What you really need to have an outstanding relationship is to have a sensational association with your partner. You want to think about your relationship and it gives you warm feelings in your tummy. You want to have those strong positive emotions pop up automatically. You want to have the association so good that even just thinking of your partner, it fills you up to the limit and no one else could even come close to comparing to just the thought of your partner. Of course, this is much easier said than
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done. It doesn’t just come overnight. It is like fitness, if you stop going to the gym, then you will eventually become “unfit”. You can’t just go once and expect perfect health and fitness. In fact, people go to the gym for years and years, and they get healthier and healthier, but never really achieve “perfect” health. So this is something that you really need to understand and also be disciplined enough to follow the rules when it’s easy as well as when it is hard. But here’s the good news. The rewards are unlike anything else you could possibly imagine right now, in this moment. It is better than winning the lottery, better than all the praise and the titles and recognition you could achieve in a life time, it
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is even better than being the “queen of the hill”. Think about it, when you and your partner have that kind of positive emotional association where each time you see each other, you melt into each other… what is a problem? Nothing. That’s right. There wouldn’t be “relationship problems”, or feeling unfulfilled in the relationship. All of the normal relationship stuff is instantaneously solved. This is the kind of relationship that other’s envy. However, on the other hand, if you don’t have a good association with your partner, then it is much easier to mis-communicate with your partner, it is easier to get into fights or arguments, it is easy to take offence
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to things in the relationship and overall, and it drastically kills and dulls any romance, love, spontaneity or fun for you. So in this volume, I aim to give you some tools and strategies to help you get to that place where you will have an outstanding association with your partner and vice versa.
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Why The Passion is GONE?
Have you ever had a relationship where it was passionate at the start, but somehow over time, it slowly disappeared? Or perhaps slowly, you feel like you are drifting away from your partner and you can’t do anything to change it? And maybe one day, you wake up and realize that you don’t actually love the person, or that you’re not attracted to him?
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Or even worse… he calls or messages you to tell you (out of nowhere) that he doesn’t love you anymore. (This happened to a friend of mine and she was devastated for months!) But here’s the truth underneath all of that…the passion or attraction or connection wasn’t gone overnight - it didn’t just disappear out of the blue. The truth is that the attraction and connection was leaving the relationship every day consistently, and you just didn’t notice it! Like that old saying… you put a frog in boiling water and it jumps straight out, but if you put a frog in cold water and slowly turn up the heat, you boil the frog. This is what is happening to most relationships in the world. Most relationships are heading for that slow path of death.
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Most people don’t realize that what they’re doing every single day is contributing to the destruction of their own relationship, and as a result, over 80% of all long term relationships fail and over 60% of all marriages end in divorce. So the point that I’m trying to make right now is that you have to look at everything you do in your relationship and ask yourself… “Is this contributing more passion and aliveness and connectedness to my relationship or is it slowly draining it away?” “Are my emotional associations and my partner’s emotional associations with me and our relationship improving every single day through every single interaction we have, or is it deteriorating?” Once you become clear about this idea of your emotional associations, then you will have some true power in influencing your
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own relationship for the better. It’s the equivalent of depositing money in your bank account every single day, eventually you will become very rich and have a lot of resources. However, if you’re like most people, they take and take, and make withdraws after withdraws, eventually emptying their bank accounts and end up with nothing.
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Every Moment Changes Your EA
Every moment changes your emotional associations and yes, it changes every single day. They are never the same as they were yesterday. This is one of our built in survival
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mechanisms to help us navigate through our world with more success. You are always (even right now) training your nervous system to behave in a certain way, because your nervous system is designed always to adapt to your environment. One of the beautiful things about being a human being is that we get to learn and grow every single day of our lives. We can choose to expand our own horizons and shape our lives for the better. On the same note, our emotional associations are ever changing from day to day. You would be very familiar with this concept if you’ve ever played the computer game series called “The Sims”. (This is one of the all time best selling game series ever, and
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has a large female audience.) For those of you who aren’t familiar with The Sims, it is a game where you live a virtual life, and that persona or avatar that you create for yourself is your sim. So the point of the game is that you have to guide your sim to find success and happiness in his or her life. You play as your sim, doing the daily activities that most of us humans would do in the normal world. Your sim also has their own desires, fears and wants. Now what is really interesting about this game is how your sim interacts with other sims. When your sim first meets another sim, they start off having a neutral relationship. No love, no hate. Now in the game, there’s a relationship status bar. It displays your sim’s
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relationship with the other sim. This bar is measured on a scale from -100 to +100. So obviously, +100 means that you’re absolutely in love with someone, and 100 means you can’t even stand having the other person in the same room as you. This is effectively measuring the association your sim has with another sim. So every new relationship starts at 0. It starts in the middle as neutral. Now here’s what is interesting. In every interaction your sim has with another sim, it affects the relationship bar (AKA relationship association) either up or down. So for example, if your sim makes a compliment to the other sim, then the relationship bar may go up 4 points. This means the relationship association has just gotten better.
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If your sim slaps the other sim or makes fun of the other sim, then the score will most likely go down 10 points. This is called creating a negative association. So obviously, if you want to have great relationships, then you have to do the things that create the good associations, and avoid the things that cause bad associations. And in fact, the game takes this concept one step further. When you get to an association of around +50, (which means you really like the other sim, and we’re having real good associations here in that relationship), then you get some other options of how you interact. You can even fall in love if the association is above 50. After you fall in love, you can get married and move in together, if the
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associations are good enough. It’s also true in real life; no one will marry you if they have a bad association with you. So if you want more commitment in the relationship, then you shouldn’t go and “ask” for the commitment, but rather build up the good associations first. And when you have achieved a great relationship score or association, it fulfills many of your needs just by being in the same room as the other person or just thinking about the other person. When you have great associations with someone, your problems tend to go away when they show up. Your whole mood shifts when they speak to you. And you’re no longer getting affected by the daily frustrations of life. Here’s another thing that is also very true
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in the Sims as well as in real life. Sometimes in the game, you think you’re doing something good to climb the relationship association ladder (to raise the association points closer to +100), and suddenly it backfires on you… simply because - what you were trying to do wasn’t quite compatible with your partner. Your partner didn’t perceive value in your actions. And this is so true in life. Haven’t you made the mistake of trying to do something good, only for it to be interpreted badly by someone else? I certainly have (on more than one occasion too). So we have to learn what turns our partner on and what totally turns him off. This is so critical! Sometimes one thing works with one man
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and the same thing will totally offend another man. This is something that you’ll learn as you connect more and more with your lover. It’s something that we have to take conscious notice of. This is a job for you and only you to do. I can only give you guidelines but it’s you who has to go into the field and try things out and see what works. But of course, we have to realize that there are many different types of associations, so let’s just quickly talk about the good types of associations and the bad types of associations.
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Happy & Horrible Associations
So we’ve established that there are both good and bad types of associations In our personal relationships, we all aim to create the +100 type of amazing positive association both for ourselves and for our partner. (Just a quick note: It is equally as important for YOU to have the association as
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it is for your partner. Why? If you don’t feel it, then you will only do things to jeopardize your relationship, and plus, you won’t end up feeling those sweet feelings inside anyway, so there wouldn’t be a point if you don’t create those associations for yourself!) So let’s talk about some of the good feelings that you want in a relationship… Feeling alive and excited? Feeling important and worthy of love? Feeling safe, secure and warm? Feeling protected? Feeling free - like you can really be who you are at your core? Feeling like your life is exactly where it should be? Feeling in love? Now all these are great feelings to have
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and I think we all want to feel these in our lives. Perhaps you value one of them more than the others? So in order to experience all these feelings in your life, and experience them regularly, we have to build something called EPAs. EPAs stand for “Enormous Positive Associations”. So instead of having all these different emotions to contemplate and think through in your head, I’ve grouped them all into one easy to remember concept and feeling called an EPA. Any time you have a very good feeling inside of you, it’s an EPA. It can’t just be “so-so” good, it has to be real good. So just think for a moment right now, what makes you feel real good inside? What makes
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you feel warm and safe? What makes you feel real excited? Maybe even make you giddy like a school girl? What makes you feel like you’re the most important thing in the world and absolutely worthy of love? What makes you feel free and feel like you can really express yourself? When you take a moment to really come up with the answers, you will realize that you already have EPAs with these things. (I actually encourage you to write these down on paper so that you can refer back to them later on instead of having to think them up again) Now if you want a passionate relationship that is all about deep commitment, loyalty, and togetherness, then your job is really to create the same type of EPAs in your
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relationship. How do we do this? Well, the list is almost endless. Think about it, anytime you feel outstanding in your relationship, that’s creating EPAs. Anytime you and your partner feel completely loved and adored, that’s creating EPAs. Anytime you and your partner feel excited in the company of each other or taking things to the next level, that’s creating EPAs. In fact, here’s a great example of these positive associations coming into play in real life. Some scientists conducted an experiment for the sake of science. In the experiment, the scientists asked a bunch of women to rate the facial attractiveness of a man in a photo. Now in the first group, they chose many
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women just from off the street and asked them what these women rated the photo of the man out of ten. Ten being most attractive and zero least. So in this group, the average score of how attractive this man in the photo was about a 4 out of ten. Then the scientists went to a second group of women. The difference this time, is that these women had just done a bungee jump moments before rating the same photo. Now as we know, bungee jumping is one of those thrill sports where you get a large dose of excitement and dopamine into your brain. In order words, these are massive EPA triggers because of the positive excitement associated with the activity. So you may be able to guess what the results are…
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The second group of women who had just done bungee jumping rated this man in the photo an average of 8. We’re talking about the same person in the same photo shown randomly to two groups of women of no significant difference. The only difference in the experiment was that the second group had a huge EPA trigger just moments before seeing the photo which transferred the association to the man in the photo. Think about that for a moment, and the enormous power that is hidden in EPA triggers. Think about the fact that someone could rate YOU differently, depending on what they were doing before they saw you! So this leads to the idea that, it’s more than “how you look or how you present yourself”, but also the context in which you
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do so. If you’re present when people are depressed, then they will also associate you with depression. If people are happy or ecstatic when you are around them, then they will associate that with you also. So I’ll give you an example. Let’s say you have a bad day at work, and you’re all frustrated and upset. You go home to your husband or your boyfriend in this shitty mood, hoping that you can maybe vent some of your frustrations out at home. So let’s say he is really looking forward to having you home and it shocks him to see you so frustrated and upset. None the less, you guys talk it through and two hours later, everything is fine once again. You go to work the next day, and realized another project has been compromised and
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you won’t be able to meet the deadline. So you get all flustered and annoyed for the whole day. You go home once again in this shitty mood, for the second day in a row. On the third day, you accidently spilt some coffee on your blouse and you go home upset again. Now here’s my question. Even though none of these “life’s events” had anything to do with your boyfriend or husband, how is he going to be when you come home from work on the fourth day? Is he perhaps going to associate you coming home from work with… “gotta have to deal with her again in a bad mood…” And how do you think that’s going to affect your relationship? Is it going to positively or negatively influence your relationship?
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It’s not hard for anyone to imagine this happening and to start to realize the negative kinds of associations that are being established in the relationship. On the one hand, we want to be loved even when we are down. But on the other – we have to understand that we cannot use our relationship as a place we go to vent. Or as a place we go to to bitch about things. It’s not just about your intimate relationship either. A very good friend of mine I knew from school used to do this a lot. She had always felt less, insecure and fearful. And, whenever she had a problem in her life – whether that be with other girlfriends, or whether it was with a boyfriend – she’d come to me, telling me how annoyed she was. And the worst thing about it was that, a lot of the times, she would have a bitch, and then
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she’d want to hang up straightaway. So, basically, I let myself be her scratching post. So that was bad on my part; but ultimately, she kept doing it and she kept doing it – and it got worse and worse over the years. It got to the point where, I had my phone turned off one night, and she cracked it at me the next morning for having my phone off because I should have ‘been there’ for her. Eventually, the associations that I built up within myself with HER became SO bad, that I started to feel absolutely, passionately angry, and hateful towards her – but more so at myself; for letting myself be in this submissive role with her. See how resentment can occur, even if you have the best intentions? Even if you care? So the friendship just dissolved. I couldn’t
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stand it anymore, and I stopped returning her calls. I still care deeply, but the associations are that bad that, really, I’d rather stay away from her. Plus, the other problem was that her always bitching about her other girlfriends made me not trust her with my own information, y’know? As a woman, I appreciate DETAILS from other women, but if the details are always about how other women are this or that – how one of her friends was annoying her or wouldn’t do this or that for her - I can’t trust the woman as a friend for MYSELF, because she’s not using a things all of us humans have – which is a thing called compassion. She’d rather blame things on others than see things from their point of view. Now, if you are wondering what that story has to do with intimate relationships: it has
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everything to do with it. TOO MANY women go to their man with reports of how bad everything is and don’t give him a way to solve it. This will eventually turn a man off you and make him pull away, stop being romantic and just eventually resent you. Because he wants to make you happy. The HARDER it is to make you happy for a long period or time, the more he will associate negatively with you. It’s only natural to build up this bad association because associations are built subconsciously. It travels underneath our conscious awareness. Now that leads me to the next point. What are bad associations? What kind of associations do we NOT want to build?
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Well, let’s think about it. What in life do you not want to feel? What do you not want to feel the most in this life? Now I would suggest certain feelings such as guilt, pain, regret, being blamed, and fearful are some of the worst types of feelings you can possible experience. So these are the emotions and feelings that you DON’T want to associate with your relationship, nor do you want to contribute to your partner associating these emotions with you. Any kind of experience that brings up any of these feelings would make you instantly want to get out of that experience. Us human beings are ALWAYS moving away from hurtful or painful feelings and emotions. But there is also one particular type of association that I have not yet mentioned.
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This is one that doesn’t always come to front of mind often, but also does huge damage to a relationship. What I’m talking about is boredom. That’s right, the feeling of being bored. Guess what happens in a relationship when you’re bored? You might start to look for another one. It’s called instant variety and excitement. I’m sure you don’t want to resort to that, or have your partner do that because he is bored in the relationship with you. And really, the only way to prevent it is for you to inject plenty of variety and excitement in your relationship. Think about this for a moment. What do you have to do to feel bored? NOTHING!
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That’s right, it doesn’t take anything for you to feel bored. Same with your relationship, you don’t have to do anything to be bored in that relationship. It will happen naturally over time if you do the same things again and again. Remember how exciting it was the first time you spent a night watching a movie with someone you loved? But what if you did that every week at the same time watching the same types of movies? Wouldn’t the excitement wane eventually? Absolutely. You see, it takes no effort or energy for things to get boring! But boredom will definitely do a great job of destroying any passion and attraction in a
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relationship. Remember back to last month how we talked about dopamine in the brain, and how it is responsible for the feeling of attraction and romantic love? It’s like that. Boredom, for most people, is the easiest place to get to – because they’re not always looking for new ways to bring more surprise and excitement to the relationship. So I’m going to group all these “bad” emotions under the umbrella of “ENABAs”, which stands for Enormous Negative and Boring Associations. These are the emotions to AVOID at any cost in your relationship. So what else creates an ENABA? Any kind of blaming, criticizing, and
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scolding in the relationship creates ENABAs. Anything that elicits a great fear or pain in the relationship creates ENABAs. Anytime you or your partner feels like they’re not enough in your presence, that is an ENABA. Any time you feel bored or indifferent or have no excitement in the relationship, that’s creating ENABAs in the relationship. So if you truly want a relationship that is full of passion LONG TERM, and not have it die like almost every other relationship out there, then you have to consciously and actively build EPAs, and absolutely avoid ENABAs whenever you can. The key here is firstly to make it a habit to realize what an EPA is and what an ENABA really is. You need to really become more aware of this concept in your life.
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So I want you to get out a piece of paper, and write down all the things you did with your partner in the last 7 days. Every activity and every single time you spent together. Now label all these activities as either an EPA, an ENABA, or neither. So give them all a label. Now if you want to know how your relationship is going, look at the balance of the EPAs compare to the amount of ENABAs. I don’t have to tell you but the more ENABAs you have in your relationship, the quicker it is going downhill. (And there’s so much downhill before you hit something… and when you get some downhill momentum, it’s really going to hurt when you make that impact.) And on the other side of the coin, if there
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are more EPAs, then you’re relationship is actually going uphill. It’s getting better day by day, week by week. This is truly one of the most profound things you will ever learn about your relationship. You will see your relationship from a whole new perspective that gives you a much bigger picture than what you’re probably used to. So take a deep breath, embrace this bigger picture and be glad that you’re now more aware than 99% of all other people on the planet. And one last thing on this: the more you actively bring value in the form of excitement, happiness, or any kind of pleasurable emotion to the relationship; the more you and your man will be able to weather the bad patches. Because the key is that emotional
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associations (EPAs and ENABAs) don’t occur just in our conscious mind – they occur in our BODIES. So, for example, if your man is DOWN – if something bad is happening in his life - and you bring to him a genuine love, a genuine sense of connection and compassion – his BODY doesn’t forget it. If you bring to him a love and compassion that most women would be way too fearful to give to him; and you do it consistently; his body doesn’t forget it. So don’t think that you have to be working over time like a rat on a conveyor belt to keep things afloat. No, no no. You just have to be conscious of the emotional qualities and the qualities of experiences you are bringing to the relationship.
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At first, it will feel hard – you’ll feel resistant, but the more you do it, the stronger you get and the better you get at doing it.
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Two Ways Associations Shift Over Time
Most relationships start off with a lot of passion, a lot of attraction and it would almost seem like you can’t get enough of the other person and nothing could tear you apart. If you look at most relationships after two years, then you’d see a completely different picture.
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Woman yells and complains to the man, man shuts up and watches the game. She turns her back, he turns his back. Quite a dramatic shift don’t you think? So the question is, how did it slowly shift over time resulting in all the great feelings disappearing? Well, it turns out that there are TWO different ways that associations will change over time. 1) The first of the two ways is through repetition. 2) And the second of the two ways is through intensity. Let’s start with repetition. If you repeatedly show up in the relationship in a way that creates a minor ENABA in your relationship, then eventually that’s how your
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partner is going to feel about you. For the purpose of this exercise, let’s just say this minor ENABA is a 2 out of 10. In other words, it’s just a small annoyance. If you show up in your relationship as a small annoyance every day for a whole week, I guarantee that your lover will have a different association with you by the end of that week. It may not be a terrible kind of association, but nonetheless in an intimate relationship, anything small can easily magnify into something a lot bigger later on. On the flipside, the same is true with a small level EPA or positive association. If you’re repeatedly bringing 2 out of 10 EPAs into your relationship, then over time that’s how you and your partner will associate the relationship you have together.
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Now it may seem like there’s nothing wrong with bringing small EPAs to the relationship… But here’s the problem… If you’re like me, you don’t just want a relationship to be a 2/10 fun, exciting and romantic. You want the relationship to be a 10/10. So with repetition, you also need another key factor and that’s intensity. Intensity is HOW strong the feelings are, whereas repetition is how often. Intensity is having a feeling or association at an 8, or 9, or 10 out of 10, instead of just a 2 out of 10. The feeling or emotion has to be at a very high level. So imagine this: you’re a child playing in the kitchen. In your tender innocence, you
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put your hand on a burning hot stove, and suddenly you burn the skin off of your hand. So you learn NEVER to do that again. That is an intense association that doesn’t have to be repeated to be deeply etched into your nervous system. If you’ve put your hand on the stove twice and burnt yourself twice, then there’s really no hope for you! No seriously, when you cause that much physical pain to yourself in one defined set of actions, then you develop a very strong, perhaps a 10 out of 10 association with putting your hand on the stove. You learn straightaway not to do that again. And sometimes that strong association stays with you for the rest of your life. I’m sure you personally have some of these strong associations with certain things, or
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locations or with people from your past that you will hold with you for the rest of your life. So, intensity plays a big part in creating associations. If you want the feelings you and your man have and associate with each other in your relationship to be a 10 out of 10, then you can’t settle for having interactions that are only a 5 out of 10. In fact, no matter how many times you have a 5 out of 10 experience with your partner, the association you have with your relationship will never escalate to a ten. So even if you have 50 x 5/10 experiences with your man, it doesn’t get better – it stays at that ‘in-between’, ‘not so good – not so bad’ place. That place feels safe, though, doesn’t it? Because there’s not too much pain – and you don’t have to push through any fears to bring
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a new experience to the relationship or to bring a new part of yourself to the relationship. So it is in the best interest of your relationship and in the future of your relationship to be bringing more than just 5/10 experiences. You have to regularly and repeatedly bring to the “relationship table”, metaphorically speaking, high intensity EPAs, in order to not only create great associations in your relationship, but also to shift the tide and save a relationship on the brink of collapse. Bringing new associations to the table is a great way to save a relationship that is not going so well. If your partner is down in the toilet; even if you did something totally crazy and weird that broke their ‘sad’ emotional state – you’d be bringing a sense of variety and newness to
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the table that helps to stimulate their nervous system, and helps them to start associating you with being happy. Interestingly enough, research on dating has shown that people find it hard to walk away from happy people. Happiness is contagious; and one of the BIGGEST turn offs in dating is negativity. So, again, it’s not just about being happy – it’s about being aware that your emotional state can influence the quality of life for your man. If he is down in the toilet – you don’t have to get all scared and worry that he will pull love away. It is far more valuable for you to actually step up and bring a 10/10 Enormous Positive Association to the relationship table with him.
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Stop Creating Negative Associations!
We’ve already covered a bit of what creates a negative or boring association. It’s basically this: Any time you feel intensely bad either in
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your relationship or in the PRESENCE of your lover, then it’s creating negative associations. You see, that’s pretty much the only rule here. Let me give you an example of why… Arguing; for some couples could create totally negative associations, tear the couple apart and create a real bad tension between the two lovers. However it really isn’t the argument itself that caused the negative associations. It’s the couple themselves. You see, there are couples out there that would argue seriously like cat and dog, and then half an hour later they’re making love. And in the end, they would end up having a great association with arguing because they’re able to express their own energy and not have to hold it in. This difference between the two different
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couples is the small distinctions in the way you argue, and how you express your energy when arguing. The result, is completely opposite. I don’t want to discuss too much on arguing itself, as it’s outside the scope of this volume, but just realize that sometimes you may perceive something to be a negative association, but someone else may not. But here’s one thing that will always get you in trouble and always create a bad association in your relationship. I’m talking about blaming your partner. Making him wrong, making him feel that deep down inside; he is inadequate. One of our biggest fears in life, (this applies to all of us), is the fear that we’re not enough. Not strong enough, fast enough, pretty enough, good looking enough, thin enough,
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not rich enough… All of us have a fear of not being enough. So if you repeatedly trigger this fear in your partner by blaming him, scolding him, emasculating him, castrating him, or belittling him, then this will certainly create a strong negative association in your relationship for him, and for you.
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Don’t Be Boring Either
Now, if you never argue in your relationship, that doesn’t mean it’s a good relationship. I used to have a friend who would enter into relationships and his whole idea was that if there were no arguments, then it’s a “good” relationship. But here’s the problem. If you don’t argue in your relationship, it’s not because there are no arguments and everything is perfect,
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it’s because no energy is being transmitted and both of you are suppressing your inner energy. No wonder none of that friend of mine’s relationships ever lasted more than a few months. Here’s what’s going to happen in the relationship if you withhold your feelings and your energy… it’s going to get really boring. And, not only that – but you will start to create PHYSICAL blockages in your body, as a woman. If you can’t express any energy in the relationship; you creates blockages that can cause resentment and even diseases for yourself. A good example of how women end up making their relationships boring is through pleasing. When you try to please someone, then
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you’re suppressing a part of yourself, and then you can’t show up with that energy that brings excitement to the relationship. Again, as I mentioned, doing nothing is boring. Doing the same things over and over is also boring. And “boring” is something we must avoid in a relationship. In fact, in all honesty – you really rather someone feel anger or intense hatred towards you than feeling indifferent. Indifferent is DEAD. Indifferent leads to that place where; you don’t really care about each other anymore. You’re just as PRESENT in the relationship with each other as much as you can avoid having pain. In other words, you’ll open yourself up to love in the relationship only so far as you can avoid pain.
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This is boring, and all your energy is suppressed. Think about it, when you start a new relationship, what’s exciting? EVERYTHING! This new person has all these new characteristics, new habits, new ways of looking at the world. But if you’ve been in a long term relationship before, then you’d know that this newness wears off eventually. After a few months down the track, you start to “get used” to him. And of course he gets used to you. That sense of excitement slowly disappears… and this is one reason why many people in today’s world jump from relationship to relationship, looking for that feeling of newness. So what happens in a relationship when
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things are no longer exciting? Well, it makes it very easy for that person to seek excitement from other sources, for example, watching TV, go gambling, playing video games, or even spending time with other people. In fact, spending too much time together is probably the worst thing you could do for a relationship that is just starting off… Here’s the reason why…
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The Law of Familiarity
The law of familiarity means that when you spend a lot of time with someone, their behavior starts to get predictable; they become familiar, and when they become familiar, they lose that veil of mystery and excitement. So what am I saying? You shouldn’t spend too much time together?
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Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I am serious. It sounds so counter-intuitive but it’s true. It’s the same kind of idea as if you were to eat your favorite food every day for every single meal, you WILL get sick of that food, no matter what it is. So what’s the fastest way to get bored of someone? The answer is to spend every single second with that person! In fact, think about the story of Romeo and Juliet… Did Romeo and Juliet spend every waking moment together? Or did they have to struggle to even meet because of their family feud? So the key thing here is to remember, the law of familiarity will affect your relationship if you spend too much time together.
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You can’t help it, even if you want to. But remember; though we are humans; a big part of us is still animal – and these forces are at work in our body ensure our survival; and to ensure the survival of our species. If the law of familiarity did NOT exist; we wouldn’t evolve, and grow. And we are always evolving as a species. Your children will be slightly more evolved than you are; and the same principal exists with your grandchildren. So, remember the law of familiarity. Remember that it creeps up sometimes EVEN without you being aware of it. It sucks, yes; but you just have to be conscious of it – when you’re conscious of it; you can remember to bring that sense of variety to the relationship. If you let the Law of Familiarity get to your relationship - things in the relationship will then no longer be as interesting or exciting,
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and that tends to be the kiss of death for a lot of relationships. And a part of OVERCOMING the law of familiarity is to bring different emotional states – different emotional associations to the relationship by impacting your partner in a different way; and knowing what gets his attention. Especially when the emotional state of the relationship is ‘blah’ or bad. David knows this well for me. It happened recently. I was down; feeling all ‘blah’, and stupidly let it affect our relationship. I just felt like I was in a state where I couldn’t move forward; I didn’t feel alive. And he knows how to impact m and create new associations. Here’s what he did: he came over, saw me in this state, and after 5 minutes of hanging out with me in my silly loser mood, he got up and said ‘I’m leaving’.
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And started to pack his bags. And of course, sure enough, that one line got me. And, the thing that got me was that I wasn’t entirely sure if he was serious or not. So my emotional state (my ‘mood’) was instantly changed. So he started to pack his bags and put on his shoes. Of course, I resisted. I didn’t want him to leave; but I would never put the burden on him of asking him to stay; so I started playing with him. I playfully ran to the door and blocked his way. Then I grabbed his keys and held on to them tight so he couldn’t take them out of my hands. And then we got in to an hour long play fight (where I lost, obviously), and here’s the critical point: a whole new association was created; because David had gotten out of himself; he got through to me and changed
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my state. The mood, and the time we spent together went from being a 5/10 of love, joy, aliveness and passion to about an 8-9/10 in intensity. An EPA was instantly created. And neither I nor David would forget that moment. Talk about being an indispensable man in my life. And by the way, he wasn’t seriously going to leave – he said it and acted it out because he knew it would change my emotional state. But I didn’t know this until afterwards. And I’ve never forgotten that (among a whole array of other brilliant moments we have created together). Now, I don’t necessarily recommend you do THAT to a man; because that may not be right for your relationship. However, we are going to go in to detail
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about how you CAN inject positive associations in to your relationship. Because when it comes to your love life, this is probably THE most important element to focus on… knowing how to inject positive, exciting, loving and passionate moments into your relationship!
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Creating Euphoric Associations
So you’re probably wondering, what can I do to create positive associations (EPAs)? The best answer I can give you is… Whenever you and your partner are feeling joy, feeling ecstasy, and euphoria like you’re on cloud 9, then that’s creating EPAs, Enormous Positive Associations.
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But what you’ll have to do is use your own imagination and creativity and be aware of what works and what doesn’t work. You see, I’ll give you an example. Naming a star for someone could create a wonderful EPA in that moment, but if you do it again and again for the same person, eventually it’s going to wear off. It will no longer have the same feeling to it and therefore the EPA will not be as strong or intense. So in order to sustain a great level of emotional association in your relationship, then you must keep doing new exciting things together. Because here’s how associations are built in the first place: you have a strong feeling, you focus on your partner, you continue having that strong feeling and continue to
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focus on your partner. Soon enough, every time you focus or look at your partner, you start feeling that strong feeling. This is how our nervous system is built to work. So just quickly, let’s do this exercise together so you really get how this all works. Think back to a moment in your life when you’ve felt absolutely euphoric. I want you to go back to that memory and live that memory again as you were in that moment right now. Feel the way you felt back then. Feel the freedom you felt. Now I want you to stop reading and really enter into that moment. Once you have successfully entered into the moment of
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euphoria, just nod your head and continue reading. Ok, good. Now think of a 3 legged concrete donkey. Ok, let’s go back to that memory of the euphoria and excitement. Think about and focus on what was really exciting about that moment. What did that moment smell like? Really, go back and enter that moment as if it is a moment of eternity and would never end. Who was with you? What did your body feel like? Now again, think of a 3 legged concrete donkey. Ok, stop and let’s think of another memory
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of joy and feeling connected and loved. What’s happening in this moment? Who’s there? Who’s giving you love in that moment? How are you breathing in that moment? What were you focusing on in that particular moment? Now think of a 3 legged concrete donkey showing up in that moment. What this exercise does; is to show you how associations work by helping you associate great feelings with something obscure like a 3 legged concrete donkey. So from now on: 3 legged concrete donkey EQUALS the euphoric feeling inside of you. Does that make sense? The key here is for you to feel great inside, then mention this 3 legged concrete donkey,
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again and again whilst you’re in that state of feeling great. This is exactly what you have to do in your own relationship on a regular basis. Just replace the 3 legged concrete donkey with YOU and the relationship. You want your man to have the same kind of EPAs with you and your relationship together. As well as this – you need to build up these associations within yourself whenever you have bad moments and need the RESOURCES to bring more to the relationship table. Feel great, and focus on your partner, again and again, to reinforce the positive associations. This puts YOU in a state where you can influence and impact your man and your
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relationship positively. It’s easy just to start thinking ‘oh, he’s always so distant’ he’s not romantic anymore!’ And sure enough….wherever you focus, your feelings start to surface. You start feeling unloved, ungrateful and bad. But really, if you truly made the effort to focus on it: your man (if you currently are in a relationship) has probably done lots of wonderful things that have made you feel great in the past. Doesn’t he deserve love for what he has already given you even though he’s not at his best in the relationship right now? Now here’s the problem with creating EPAs in your relationship that so many couples fall into. These couples try and rely on their
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relationship as the source of the EPAs, and the reason for this is that the relationship is usually so exciting at the start… But if you’ve been in a long term relationship, then you’d know what usually happens after a few months or years. The attraction slowly disappears. It’s no longer as exciting. That “newness” to the other person wears off. You see, you cannot always rely on your relationship to be the source of all the positive associations. It won’t always be so “positive”. So the paradigm shift you have to make is that YOU have to bring the EPAs, and you cannot rely on the relationship to naturally bring the EPAs to the table. You have to bring the surprises to the
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relationship on a regular basis. You have to give your gifts to the relationship like giving love, giving excitement, and the sense of joy…. REGULARLY. That is the only way to maintain and sustain regular EPAs in your relationship. You have to give and give more of yourself, instead of trying always to see if you can take from the relationship. Most people enter relationships to take value away from the relationship. So this is a huge shift in mindset. You have to give instead of taking.
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You have to stop measuring who’s getting the short end of the stick and just give, simply because it lights you up to see your lover lit up too. This is as I say, the ONLY way to sustain a passionate relationship long term, the only way to have amazing associations within your relationship and have a relationship that others envy you for.
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Too Late to Turn Back?
If after reading this volume of Attraction Control Monthly, you’re wondering whether you’ve created so much negative and boring associations in the past that it’s too late to turn back, here is the answer. No! It’s never too late. The worst associations and the worst relationships can be turned around, (if the desire to do so was present.)
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In fact, I’m going to blatantly claim that reversing boring and negative association is simple! Simple, yes, but not easy. It’s not easy because it takes real effort, real consistent effort over and over again until it starts to work. Simple, because all you need to do is to start creating in your relationship many highly positive, highly emotional and intense EPAs! Do it again and again, and associations will naturally change themselves. Just like the game “The Sims”, the association may go from -50, (which is terrible) to -46, (which is still terrible but getting better slowly), and eventually if you persist and keep bringing EPAs into your relationship, then eventually you would have
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completely turned your relationship around. Of course, at the same time you want to eliminate any ENABAs from your relationship if that is possible. The bad associations will tend to drag you down and prevent you from making changes, so you equally need to pay attention to eliminating the ENABAs. So let’s just do a quick exercise. Get a piece of paper out and I want you to write down at least 10 things that happened that was an ENABA for your relationship in the last 2 weeks. So - ten things that created either a negative association, or a boring association. Write them down. It could be a mistake you made that contributed to him feeling bad towards the
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relationship. It could be something like… I told him off for pissing on the toilet seat, or just that I wasn’t very excited to see him the other day… When you’re done with that, now I want you to order them from 1 to 10, from the MOST negative or boring, to the least. This is the list of things that you must eliminate altogether in your relationship. In fact, it would be a great idea to consciously try and eliminate one of these a day for the next ten days. Starting with the one that is the worst. And as you consciously think about NOT doing that thing again, think about some possible alternatives to that that would come across as an EPA, not an ENABA. So instead of being just content when you
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meet him, get excited about something. Start a conversation about something new with lots of genuine enthusiasm and excitement. Don’t repeat that same pattern of being just content, or “normal” when you meet up with him. Remember, you don’t just want a “normal” relationship, you want an exciting one. So it’s time for you to get rid of the stuff that creates ENABAs, and install some ways to create EPAs into your relationship.
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Your New 880 Rule
Here’s a great rule that I want you to remember to stick to in order to automatically create EPAs, and not ENABAs. I call it the 880 rule, which says… “I need to be at least an 8 out of 10 excited, happy and full of energy when I show up in my relationship, at least 80% of the time.” Because when you’re at least an 8 out of 10
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in your own state of mind and body, then you will transfer that to your relationship. This will automatically create positive and exciting associations in your relationship. Of course I don’t want you to do this every time, because it’s almost impossible to be so ridiculously precise. And sometimes if something is making you feel bad, I don’t want you to fake it. So you always have that 20% buffer zone where you can actually feel what you feel and not “having” to be happy all the time. Here’s also something to remember about emotional associations… For you to have a great quality of life and relationship, you want to have a lot of high intensity moments, and try to avoid those “boring” moments as much as you possibly can.
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In fact, it would be a very smart idea to catch yourself spending “boring time” together and totally snap out of it by doing something either fun together or doing things separately. Remember, emotional associations, (EPAs and ENABAs) form and shift and change regardless of whether you like it to or not. So be very mindful of every moment that you spend with your partner. Yes, this is effortful. I won’t deny it. At first it’s going to be hard. But over time, as with anything, it gets easier. It’s a matter of whether or not you want to have that great quality of relationship; or whether you want to just do what you think is good in the moment all the time, like most people. Most people in our society today are looking for instant gratification. We want to
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feel something; but we can’t be bothered putting the effort in to have that amazing quality of life and relationship. Instant gratification is your enemy. But if you are smart; you will know that it is hard in the beginning to be so conscious of what you are doing in your relationship; and to be conscious of the patterns (the habitual states) you have in your relationship – but the more you practice being conscious; the more natural it will be to you. So create high intensity moments, and avoid the boring or negative moments. I’m going to use the analogy of spending 5 minutes on the rollercoaster, instead of spending 5 hours on the merry-go-round. I rather you spent 5 minutes being thrilled at a 8 or 9 out of 10, than spending 5 hours on something that is only a 2 out of 10
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experience. Time is not the key! It’s the INTENSITY that shapes the overall feeling in your relationship. So make a commitment to yourself right now, that for the next 30 days, you commit to the 880 rule. You can do this ether with your intimate partner, and you could also do this with a close friend or family member. I promise you, at the end of these 30 days, you will have a deeper and more meaningful relationship with all the people you apply the 880 rule with.
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Next Volume of ACM
That’s it for another volume of Attraction Control Monthly. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and learnt a lot from it. When you start to become more aware of this idea of emotional associations, and how it changes with every single thing you do and
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moment you share in your relationship, then you will really have the power to create a better future for your relationship. Remember to inject EPAs, (Enormous Positive Associations), and try avoid the ENABAs (Enormous Negative And Boring Associations) as much as possible. Now one of the worst ways that automatically brings ENABAs into your relationship is if you present yourself as a low status, low value woman. This is something I don’t recommend anyone doing, because the moment you show up as someone who is low value and low status, men will automatically find you less attractive, and less worthy of their time and attention. So it’s imperative that you learn how to live your life as a high value, and high status
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woman. This is such an important part of life I believe, that I have dedicated the whole volume next month to this. The next month’s volume of Attraction Control Monthly is called “Becoming a High Value, High Status Woman”. It’s all about becoming a woman who is sought after by other men and women, a woman who has choices, and a woman who doesn’t need to settle. The real interesting thing I’ve noticed also, is that just by presenting yourself as a higher value individual, others will treat you better in life, and men will find you way more attractive, even if you don’t do anything different whatsoever. So it turns out that there are three different types of value that you must
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increase, in order to become a high value, high status woman. But that’s a story for next month, for now, go and do your exercises, and we will see you again in the next month’s issue of Attraction Control Monthly! Take care now!
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About the Authors Renee Wade World Authority and Leader on Femininity, Love Passion & Intimate Relationships.
What*began*as*a*journey*out*of*incredible*pain*in*her*own*past*relationships* with*men,*became*a*passion*and*a*mission*to*help*other*women*from*across*the* world*show*up*as*higher*value,*higher*status*women.*Through*her*own* struggles,*Renee*found*that*when*you*hold*yourself*as*High*Value*and*High* Status,*you*have*all*the*power*when*it*comes*to*men,*and*you*attract*the* passionate*and*loving*relationship*that*other*women*envy.** Renee’s*blog*“The*Feminine*Woman”*has*reached*and*impacted*the*lives*of*over* half*a*million*women*across*the*world*in*the*matter*of*18*months*and*continues* to*inspire*and*teach*women*today.**** Through*this*process,*she*has*advised*and*coached*many*wellLknown*individuals* and*as*well*as*a*number*of*celebrities,*including*newsreaders,*politicians,* lawyers*and*doctors.* But*it*isn’t*just*a*straight*forward*success*story.*
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*
Many*years*ago,*Renee*found*herself*in*a*horrible*nightmare.* She*found*herself*lying*on*the*floor*next*to*her*bed,*exhausted*from*crying*for* days*&*nights.*She*had*spent*almost*four*years*with*a*man*who*she*thought*she* had*a*future*with,*but*it*all*turned*out*completely*the*opposite.* It*was*a*moment*where*she*realized*that*the*one*person,*who*was*supposed*to* care*for*her*and*protect*her,*didn’t.*It*was*a*moment*where*she*needed* protection*from*her*man*from*physical*danger,*but*instead,*he*ran*away.* Her*heart*sank,*and*along*with*it*her*hopes*of*that*relationship*ever*working*out.* She*realized*that*she*had*settled*for*much*less*than*what*she*deserved*in*a* relationship.* That*day*was*the*day*Renee*realized*that*she*had*been*living*a*lie,*dating*the* wrong*man,*and*wasting*her*youth*away,*as*well*as*her*life.* Tired*of*blaming*herself,*blaming*him*and*the*situation,*Renee*set*out*to*find* answers.** Why*did*she*attract*that*man*and*that*relationship*into*her*life?*How*could*she* ever*trust*a*man*again?*How*could*she*move*on*from*this*hurtful*and* embarrassing*experience*and*help*other*women*do*the*same?* Renee*didn’t*find*the*answers*to*these*questions*immediately.*Rather,*it*took* many*highLend*seminars,*expensive*multimedia*programs,*painful*trial*and* error,*and*dozens*of*books*to*get*to*where*she*is*now.* Now*she*has*met*the*man*of*her*dreams,*fallen*in*love*and*living*a*secure,* fulfilling*and*exciting*relationship.*No*more*living*in*anxiety,*no*more*living*in* fear,*and*now*Renee*is*on*a*mission*to*take*this*knowledge*and*share*it*with* everyone*she*comes*across!* It*gives*her*ultimate*fulfilment*to*see*you*become*high*value*high*status,*attract* the*man*of*your*dreams*and*be*safe*and*secure*in*that*deeply*committed* relationship.** *
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*
David Shen Authority & Researcher on Attraction, Commitment & Long Term Intimate Relationships.
Over*the*past*several*years,*David*has*been*obsessed*with*the*theories*and* practice*of*creating*attraction*and*inspiring*commitment*in*intimate* relationships.* Together*with*Renee*for*many*years,*he*has*been*researching*on*these* important*topics*and*has*come*to*some*interesting*conclusions.* He*believes*that*it*is*possible*to*live*your*life*being*in*love*and*having*not*only* excitement*but*security*that*comes*with*a*longLterm*relationship.* He*believes*that*you*deserve*to*attract*a*man*who*doesn’t*just*love*you,*but* worships*you*and*will*take*care*of*you*forever.** It*doesn’t*matter*what*your*background*is,*your*ethnicity,*your*age,*or*your* physical*qualities,*you*can*do*this*because*of*the*feminine*energy*you*that*you* already*have*inside*of*you.** And*it’s*this*feminine*essence*&*energy*that*will*make*men*fall*in*love*with*you.**
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*
David*believes*that*in*order*for*you*to*become*that*woman*that*men*adore,*are* attracted*to*and*want*to*commit*deeply*to,*you*will*have*to*learn*a*few*key* qualities*and*a*few*key*skills.* You*will*have*to*understand*the*qualities*of*femininity*as*opposed*to* masculinity,*the*qualities*of*emotional*attraction,*and*the*specific*qualities*that* you*need*in*order*to*inspire*commitment*from*men.* David*is*also*a*big*believer*in*having*practical*skills*when*it*comes*to*your* intimate*relationship.*He*believes*you*need*the*skill*of*getting*a*man’s*attention* when*he’s*pulled*away,*the*skill*of*indicating*high*value*and*high*status*instead* of*being*treated*like*a*doormat*girl,*and*the*skill*of*really*connecting*with*men* heart*to*heart.* He*believes*that*every*woman*needs*to*understand*these*qualities*and*have* these*skills*in*their*love*lives.*Without*these,*even*if*you*are*a*celebrity*or* supermodel,*you*will*inevitably*be*heartbroken,*disappointed,*frustrated*and* empty*of*love.* So*David*has*made*it*his*mission*to*spread*the*word*and*share*these*qualities* and*skills*with*all*the*women*he*comes*across.* And*when*there*are*more*quality*relationships*in*this*world,*then*David*is* certain*that*there*will*be*less*violence,*less*suffering,*and*less*child*abuse*and* more*cohesion*in*our*world.* *
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*
