A
TTRACTION
C
ONTROL
M
ONTHLY
VOLUME 1
RENEE WADE & DAVID SHEN
!
ATTRACTION CONTROL MONTHLY Volume 1 “Attraction is Not Your Choice”
Attraction Control Monthly Program
Attraction Control Monthly is a monthly subscription program designed for women to learn the knowledge and skills in attracting a man for the long-term and becoming more attractive to men. As you probably know already, attraction is a very important element of life and relationships. It will determine whether you will be able to attract the man of your life, whether you will be able to keep that man, and perhaps even the difference between saving a marriage or seeing it collapse. Every month, you will be sent a new volume of Attraction Control Monthly, with brand new concepts, ideas, and exercises. So keep yourself subscribed, and learn the ideas and skills to have a passionate and exciting love life other women could only dream about.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 2
The Bad Girl Notice: Attraction Control Monthly is copyright 2012 - 2020 with all rights reserved. It is illegal to copy, distribute, or create derivative works from this book in whole or in part, or to contribute to the copying, distribution, or creating of derivative works of this book. Here is the statement on my website reprinted for your reference: "© All Rights Reserved. If you try to copy, steal, or distribute all or any part of my book or this web page without permission, I will have my attorney contact you and make you wish that you'd never had such a stupid idea in your life. Count on it. By purchasing this book, you agree to the following: You understand that the information contained on this page and in this book is an opinion, and it should be used for personal entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of this book is to be considered legal or personal advice." “All the images in this series are for entertainment purposes. Extreme care has been taken to make sure credit goes to the rightful owner however that may not always be possible. If any of the images belong to you, then please contact us and we will give you the rightful credit” And I expect you to abide by these rules. I regularly and actively search the Internet for people who violate my copyrights. Now that we're finished with the bad girl notice, let's learn about how to build and maintain attraction with a man...
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 3
Contents Why Learn about Attraction?..................... 5! Attraction is Not Your Choice................... 16! Attraction is NEVER Logical .................... 24! Attraction & His Commitment to You ..... 30! You Cannot Stop Attraction ...................... 40! Attraction is A Drive .................................. 45! Attraction Affects Mind, Body & Soul ..... 49! We’re NOT Meant to be in a LTR............... 53! Attraction and LTRs .................................. 60! Relationships are Counterintuitive ......... 63! The 2 Factors in Attracting Men .............. 69! What Makes a LTR Work?......................... 79! The Differences which Build Attraction .. 95! The Polarity of Masculine & Feminine . 101! Next Volume of ACM ............................... 103!
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 4
Why Learn about Attraction?
Hey there. It’s David & Renee here and we just wanted to congratulate you for joining us here at Attraction Control Monthly. This is now a journey that we will embark on together where we get to teach you some of the world’s most advanced concepts and strategies in creating attraction with men and building a passionate & committed relationship that others envy. By the way, it’s really been our pleasure to put all this together for you and we have no
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 5
doubt you’ll love it. Before we get started, picture this for a moment... It is spring time and you wake up to a warm sunny day with birds chirping outside your bedroom window. It’s a beautiful day, and everything feels perfect. And you are in love. You are madly in love with a man. Life has never been this wonderful, as if the daily grind is gone and has been replaced with a feeling of ‘being on air’, or being on cloud 9, as the term is often used. You wake up thinking about this man and you go to sleep thinking about this man. Love is indeed everywhere. And there is so much attraction between
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 6
you and him. Just thinking about him gives you butterflies in your stomach. And what’s more, is that you’re 110% certain of this man’s love for you. There is so much chemistry... as if cupid himself accidently spilt his whole bottle of love syrup on you. The thought of this man’s presence makes you feel excited, and his strength and masculinity make you feel alive and happy, sometimes like a giddy little girl. Life couldn’t feel more perfect than it does right now. You feel the polarity, you smell the passion and you see the sparks fly. Even if you tried to stop your feelings... you couldn’t. And you surrender to the attraction. Now, I have a question for you. How does it feel to have this level of love,
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 7
desire and attraction deep in your body and your soul? How alive do you feel in these moments? How much joy is there in these heart pounding moments of being in love? You see, here’s what I believe. I believe life without attraction isn’t really a life. Life without attraction is like riding a bike with flat tires. Something just isn’t right, and there’s no “oomph” to it. In fact, I believe
“I believe a life without attraction isn’t really a life.”
that life without attraction is a life without meaning. A life without passion. Not only that, life won’t ‘flow’ as easily, because YOU don’t feel as alive as you could be.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 8
After all, what creates life? A man and a woman. It's the Attraction that occurs between the Masculine and Feminine. If you don’t know HOW to ignite and build attraction with any man you want, then you will be missing out on life’s most precious gifts. You will feel frustrated, like many women do, and then try far too hard to get men to “like” you. And then end up making dangerous mistakes with a man that you want a future with. The simplest truth that I discovered, through my own painful and embarrassing mistakes with men and emerging a better woman; is that; the difference between being the woman who men won't commit to and being the woman who can get almost ANY man to commit, is the ability to show up as a
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 9
feminine goddess, who knows how to build and maintain Attraction with men. If you’re already in a relationship, and you don’t know how to build and maintain attraction, then you will watch the passion and excitement in your long term relationship fizzle into nothing (And look, this is not at all your fault, and I will explain at another time why it’s a natural process for the attraction to dissipate in a long term relationship). Worse of all, without the ability to create attraction in your life, you will feel dead and empty inside (there is NO worse way to feel), and you will wonder why you just cannot seem to find a man who wants something serious and long term. On the other hand, if you are able to actively create attraction and build passion in your life and your relationships - if you can
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 10
be the incredibly feminine and radiant woman that you truly are beneath all the worry and fear and stress, then you will be able to effortlessly own any man you want. Yes, I said own. There is nothing wrong with owning a man. And by owning, I mean owning his heart and his soul, NOT tying him to the basement door and shutting him off from all his friends and family. That's not what I believe in. Yet, once you know how to be the woman who triggers emotional attraction, and have men fall in love, that's it. If a man is in love, that is it. You will be the one. And as this incredible woman who knows how to ignite that spark with any man, you will have your pick of men. Even if he is skeptical of love. Even if he is a wounded bear. Even if he has an ex wife who he has obligations to.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 11
You will also attract success like you’ve never done before, because you will be alive and at your best, and you will have what it takes to create a passionate long term relationship that other people envy. I’m sure you would agree that too many people, men and women, end up in unfulfilling relationships. This is largely because they simply don’t understand how attraction works, and how to maintain a relationship past the 3 month period. The Attraction just fizzles out and DIES! But it simply doesn't have to. Not for you. Most people don't know how to build Attraction. And by now, you are not most people. If you have the skills and knowledge to build attraction with handsome, masculine men, regardless of where you are right now in
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 12
your life, then I can promise you that you will be attractive to more than your fair share of men and people in general, and on top of that, people will want to be around you, and desire your presence and attention. Even women friends. But here’s the one problem that we all have... Attraction is very counterintuitive. So, what does that even mean? It means that building attraction is not intuitive to our logic or reasoning.
We’re not taught how attraction works at school or at an early age of life. A lot of us really never had anyone teaching us, the mechanics and the rules of attraction. Most of us just don’t “get” it. We don’t “get” how to go about building attraction with the
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 13
opposite sex. But when you KNOW how to, you really start to feel like Cleopatra walking on air, as if you 'get' men back to front and inside out and have no trouble having him burst through ANY barrier to get to you and to make you his one and only. So it is my pleasure to share with you the tools and concepts of building attraction in your life so that you will never run out of men who are attracted to you, you will never lack desire from others and you will never live a life of loneliness, desperation and emptiness. You see, attraction is neither good nor bad. It’s just what it is. It can be used for good and for evil. Attraction can be used to totally manipulate people and get them to do things that they normally wouldn't do, or it can be used to create the most passionate and loving
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 14
relationship that actually lasts. It’s like money. Money itself isn’t evil, nor is it good. Money is just what it is - a resource. You can use money to help yourself or others, to create brighter futures for yourself or others, or you can use money to destroy lives, and corrupt souls. It’s what you do with money that makes you either good or bad. The choice is up to you, obviously. Same goes with attraction. It isn’t good nor bad, it’s just another resource that becomes incredibly valuable in our lives. So having the skills to trigger attraction with men, is very similar to having the ability to withdraw an unlimited amount of cash anytime you wish from an ATM, and never have to worry about security again.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 15
Attraction is Not Your Choice If you ask a guy... “What do you want in a woman?” Most men would answer you with
either a blank stare or a smart ass joke. If he's more in tune and sensitive, he'll have a deeper answer. However, often, even the deepest men will give you an answer that's based on logical 'thinking', but whom they fall in love with may not be that woman at all. What a man logically WANTS in a woman
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 16
is not the same as what would make him feel ATTRACTION, on a gut level and on an emotional level. As a woman, I want you to know this and remember this. Do not ever just take what men say as gospel. Remember, most men want to sound smart and be in control. So he'll give an answer of any sort just to look like he can answer the question. But as a modern Day feminine goddess, I know you know differently. It's not about being super intelligent, it's about being an intuitive, feminine woman who quietly and humbly gets men. Have you noticed that sometimes men just go crazy over a woman who wasn’t what you thought to be the “ideal” type of woman? Sometimes a woman may not be the most classy type, nor the best dressed, nor the
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 17
prettiest, but yet she still makes men fill with desire. Truth be told, this is truly, a large part of what men REALLY want. They want a woman who is able to make them feel that aliveness and excitement that comes with the feeling of attraction. Attraction is an unstoppable force that pulls a man towards you, and makes him want to be with you, emotionally. You must be aware though, that this is not something most men can articulate. (As you and I know, most men have a hard time articulating things altogether!) Most men would not know what it is that they really want until it shows up in front of them. But when the “right” thing is in front of them, then they are COMPELLED to take things to the next level with a woman. We humans are not logical, although we
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 18
are perfectly capable of being logical. Most of our decisions we make from day to day, are far from logical. The feeling of attraction for somebody is not something we can control. As humans, we come pre-wired with a certain nervous system, and three brains, starting from the most primal (which is what psychologists call the “lizard brain”), the mammalian brain, and then the human or spiritual brain. The human brain is that part of us that is concerned with connection, giving and reaching out to others. It is the part of the brain that separates us humans with those others in the animal kingdom. The mammalian brain is mostly designed to feel emotions, but the most important aspect of it all is to understand the lizard brain. The most primitive part of our nervous system.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 19
Now, the lizard brain and its role and implications are a big topic. But for the purpose of this first volume of Attraction Control Monthly, I want you to just keep in mind that human beings are wired to pursue things, even though we would like to think we don’t want to. Our most primal brain dictates the vast majority of our decisions. Think about it, we know that chocolate isn’t good for us. It isn’t good for our blood sugar levels, it isn’t good for our teeth, and it certainly isn’t good for keeping us fit and healthy. So why do so
“Our illogical lizard brain is responsible for us to feel
many of us still walk by the supermarket and
attraction. The problem with that is that it's illogical.”
spend our hard earned money on a chocolate bar?
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 20
Because our primal lizard brain has kicked in and we know that it would be “pleasurable” to be eating that piece of chocolate. Even though logically we know that chocolate is bad news for our health and for our bodies. And yet; because of the decisions our lizard brain has already made, we simply act on desire. In fact, our logical, human brain sometimes comes into the picture and suddenly, we find ourselves justifying why it’s even good to eat chocolate, or why we deserve to be eating that chocolate. “It’s got anti-oxidants! It must be “good” for us.” … Right. Yep. And gambling is also good for us because it raises our heart rate just like exercise? Can you see how illogical our instinctive brains can be?
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 21
Can you see how our "human", logical and spiritual brain sometimes comes second to our instinctive, lizard brain? So the point of all of this is that we all have a lot less control than we think we do. We all like to think we’re in control, but in reality, most of our behavior comes from the hardwired response from our instinctive brain. Now, this doesn’t mean that we don’t have any influence over our actions, of course we do! Otherwise, nobody would be able to have a successful relationship, or a successful business, or be able to lose weight etc. But first of all, you need to understand that attraction, is not your logical choice. It is a pre-programmed reaction within your primitive instinctive brain.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 22
You really don’t have much of a logical choice in who you have attraction for, and who has attraction for you. The only thing you or I can do is to present ourselves as the best version of us, show up in a certain way to maximize the chance that others will find you attractive. (We’ll talk about how to do that in a moment) Of course, there are never any guarantees; attraction is really not our choice. We can’t just convince someone to feel attraction for us.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 23
Attraction is NEVER Logical
For now, think about a time when you felt incredibly attracted to a man. If you are struggling to think of such a time, then just imagine it. Imagine yourself feeling that deep, gut level attraction for someone. It may be someone you shouldn’t feel this way about. But who cares, no one is going to know, so
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 24
just imagine it right now. I want you to feel what it felt like to have that attraction pulsating through your body. Tell me, what happens? You probably had an instant response. You may have locked eyes with him, you may have looked at him and then looked away. You may have felt overwhelmed by his presence. Regardless of what you did, this process of you ‘noticing’ him started without you
making any decisions. Your instant response (especially if he's a bad boy) wasn’t ‘oh my goodness, I choose not to be attracted to this man because he’s probably a douche, he clearly wouldn’t treat me very well, and he probably wouldn’t make a great partner to me.’ Even if you never have a relationship with
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 25
him, the initial trigger for attraction was there. You can’t choose it. See, regardless of whether you like it or not, your feeling of attraction comes first, and your logical thought comes afterward. This after-thought may be something like ‘well, he’s clearly got some bad habits and I am not going to get involved
“Remember and never forget… a
because I’m
man’s feelings of attraction
probably
come first, and his logical
going to get
thoughts come afterwards.”
hurt”. What you need to know is, the same thing happens with men. But not just sexual attraction. I know you've had men wanting to have sex with you. And almost any woman can trigger a man's sexual desire, even if she's overweight and even if you don't consider her good
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 26
looking. But the type of attraction I am here to show you how to create in men is deep, emotional attraction. The same "illogical" thing happens with men falling in love with you. Falling in love; or romantic love is a form of deep attraction that makes men do crazy things for you that their buddies would laugh at them for. And they have no control over doing those things for you! The power of attraction is also one reason (by no means the sole reason!) many women get themselves in to a toxic relationship with a bad boy. Women are sexually driven towards men who present as the fastest and strongest provider, even if she knows logically that he wasn’t capable of committing and even if he
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 27
didn’t have the same feelings for her. And we tend to make up a relationship in our heads. We tend to justify all his shortcomings, because we feel so attracted to him, and he is so exciting! Even if he never keeps his promises or is arrogant, cocky and inconsiderate towards you, and treats you like dirt on his shoes, you can turn around and go ‘oh but....I love him. Oh but...he’s SO hot.’ By the time we realize and come to some ‘logic’ in our mind, perhaps through a friend or even ourselves, we’ve already gotten ourselves caught up in the web of steamy attraction! Because we come with three different brains, we can feel a lot of conflict. We want a man who is safe, yet also makes us feel excitement and variety.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 28
You don't want to be bored, right? Yet, you also don't want a man who will just get up and leave you with no warning. Well, this type of man is actually out there, and he's around more than you allow yourself to believe. This kind of man is not easy to find unless you understand how attraction works and can serve you to get what you want.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 29
Attraction & His Commitment to You
Attraction is the number 1 factor in getting a man to commit to you. That’s right. If you want a man to give you his whole heart and have it be his choice, if you want him to commit to you, whether that’s his attention, his time, his energy or his money, then you have to have attraction in the relationship first. This is especially true if you ever want your man to propose to you. He needs to feel
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 30
deep attraction for you. I think there’s a part in all of us women who just wants to be in a deeply committed relationship with a man who takes good care of us. There’s just really nothing like that warm feeling of having a man committing to you and being there for you when it matters. You know? Not just a man who is there when it's convenient for him, but a man who is truly present when you are most vulnerable. David and I are here to help you bring THAT man in to your life and stay in your life. Isn't it true that, having no commitment from a man feels scary? It may feel unsecure and unsafe (You may know this from past experience.) If I had to tell you one thing that I've learned in the many years I've been with
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 31
David, and everything we've been through it's that - true commitment from a man doesn’t come easily. And David was the commitment 'type'. Every man can commit, but some men's personalities are just more driven towards commitment. Others need more reasons to do it. Here's what's true about men when it comes to committing to you: As much as we all think that we are pure virtuous saints inside… at the end of the day, most of us throughout our day to day life, ask the question: “What’s in it for ME?” If you’re going to buy a new apartment for yourself… you would be asking yourself the question: “What’s in it for ME?” If you’re buying lunch for yourself, you would be asking yourself the same question.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 32
“What’s in it for ME? And is that something worth the money I’m paying?” Think about it for a moment. For a man to want to commit in a relationship with you, he would also like to know… “What is in it for HIM”. And if he feels like what he’s going to get in return when he commits, is not worth his commitment, then he simply won’t commit in the first place. Why would he bother? So then the question becomes… what does he perceive as valuable? What is going to be worth enough in a man's mind so that a man would commit naturally? The answer to that question is attraction. A strong attraction will always make a man come straight back to you. In essence, attraction, and You (your
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 33
feminine energy) makes a man feel alive. Attraction offers a man the spark of life that he simply could not achieve on his own. You see, in a man’s world, if you were to look through his lens for a day, you'd see that his day to day existence is dead compared to the attraction he could have with you. Your feminine energy fills his life up with excitement and purpose. That’s what’s ultimately valuable to a man, and that’s what would inspire him to want to enter into a deeply committed relationship. Think about the recent movie Drive, with Ryan Gosling. Think about the movie A Man Apart with Vin Diesel. Think about the movie the Notebook. Each of these movies make money from an audience because men indulge in that fantasy. Men want that. If you're thinking... "but it's WOMEN who
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 34
want that fantasy! Not men!"....step outside your own mind for a minute. On the Notebook facebook fan page, last time I checked, around half the fans are MALES. You see, too many women think that sex is pretty much all that men want and by withholding sex until marriage, then that would make him commit. This idea may seem logical to some extent, but there’s a huge problem with that. You see, this idea originated hundreds and thousands of years ago, when sex was something that was taboo… or something that wasn’t talked about much. Nowadays, sex is everywhere. It’s on billboards, it’s on television and it’s everywhere on the internet. You can literally not spend a day without seeing or hearing something that is sexually
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 35
suggestive. And now research has shown that on average, a person is exposed to over 10,000 marketing messages every single day… so we as a society, have really become desensitized to these sexually oriented suggestions and sexual references. In the twenty first century, sex is everywhere and sex is cheap. Sex has lost its value over the last hundred years. It is no
“True Commitment from a man
longer common place for the
doesn’t come easily… There has
man and
to be a lot of existing attraction
woman to wait
already in the relationship.”
till marriage to have sex. In fact, teenagers are having sex at a younger and younger age. You can trade money for sex. In fact, a whole new industry has emerged in the twenty first century called “sex tourism”.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 36
People travel to cheaper places in the world to have sex, at a place where their dollar is worth a lot and can lure needy and vulnerable locals in. The porn industry is the primary reason for the development of broadband technology! So the point of all this is that for most men, they can “get” sex readily at a very cheap price. Sex to most men, is no longer a mystery, no longer something that is rare. Even if they DO go ahead and seek it out from you. They still will seek it from you. But it doesn't mean they will call you again afterwards. Simply because: 'it' (sex) by itself just wasn't worth anything. Yet, attraction is. Remember, whatever that is commonplace
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 37
is cheap. Whatever is rare and worthy, is highly valued and treasured. Attraction, true attraction is rare, and it is valued. So my point is; sex would never inspire most men to want to commit. On the other hand, you cannot buy attraction. You cannot go watch TV to feel true attraction. You cannot spend money and “get” true attraction. You can be the richest person on Earth and feel no attraction, and feel a lack of attractiveness. You cannot trade or buy attraction. And this is why attraction has maintained its intrinsic value, and it is an integral part of the commitment process in any relationship. The deep attraction ALONE, without sex, is enough to drive a man to want to commit to you.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 38
That is the very nature of romantic love. Sex with that person is nice, but you just want to BE with that person. Sometimes, having sex with them feels cheap in comparison. A good example of this is what happened when Ryan Philippe finally got the chance to sleep with Reese Witherspoon in the movie Cruel Intentions. The movie is popular for a reason. It relates to people. And people relate to it. It's not just a movie.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 39
You Cannot Stop Attraction
Think about this for a moment…Have you ever had a moment in your life, where you started to feel attraction for someone… but you knew you shouldn’t have! In other words, you knew it was “wrong” to feel attraction for that particular person, but
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 40
you couldn’t stop yourself at the same time… Somehow the attraction
“Attraction is not a logical choice.
just grew and
Attraction is a complex response
grew inside of
initiated and experienced by your
you.
body, mind and soul.”
It was like you were on this rollercoaster with no exit. You couldn’t stop the feelings that were emerging inside of you, even if you tried. This is because you cannot stop attraction. The best thing you can do is to ride it out. Here’s the reason why… Attraction is not a logical choice. Attraction is an automatic and complex response initiated and experienced by your body, mind and soul. You cannot simply use your willpower to try and change it. It simply will not work.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 41
Once the process of attraction begins, it is VERY difficult to stop it. It is like trying to stop a steam engine in its tracks when it is gaining speed and momentum. This is why in relationships, you have to keep and maintain the attraction. The last thing you want is for another person to come into the relationship, your man starts to feel attraction for her, and that destroys what you’ve spent months and years creating. If your man has started to feel deep attraction for someone else, then it is almost inevitable that your relationship will suffer dire consequences. And one of the only real possible ways to prevent that from ever happening, is to have that strong sense of attraction already in your relationship. Have you ever worried that he would cheat on you? Have you ever kept yourself awake
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 42
at night, wondering if he is dreaming of being with another woman? Well, if you really do have that strong attraction in your relationship, then it is difficult - if not impossible for your man to feel attraction for anyone else, nor will he look for it. See, men are far more idealistic than women are. Research done by anthropologists has shown that women are far more pragmatic than men in relationships. Once a man gets hooked on you, he's just that; hooked. He's designed to experience that. He has to; evolution made him that way. You wouldn't want to deprive the man of your dreams of that would you? I know you wouldn't; so it's time to make
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 43
friends with Attraction and acknowledge the truth: men are not just looking for sex. Remember, attraction is difficult to stop once it is initiated. It is a complex set of changes in your body that you have little control over. So this is why if you want to be in a relationship where his interest STAYS on you, you have to know how to exist as that goddess that automatically triggers attraction in men. If one man wants to be in a relationship with a woman, it's almost certain that thousands of other men also will want and crave that woman. Emotionally. Once you are the feminine goddess that triggers deep attraction in men, you will be that woman you were born as: "the" woman men want to marry.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 44
Attraction is A Drive
Attraction is an instinctive drive. It isn’t a preference or a hobby, it isn’t about understanding things intellectually, it’s a DRIVE within our nervous system. It is hardwired into every single one of us just like the drive to eat food and seek shelter. From an evolutionary perspective, attraction is designed for two particular
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 45
reasons. Those reasons are procreation and child raising. You see, in order for our species to evolve and propagate, we needed to make sure that men and women still had sex and produced offspring. So nature’s way to bring a man and a woman together is through this process of attraction. It is perfectly normal. There’s nothing evil or nothing “dirty” about attraction. You body, mind and soul are all designed to feel attraction at the deepest level. In fact, they’re not just designed to, they seek out the experience of attraction. This is why it's just SO easy to date and get hooked on several men for just a few months and then it ends - your mind and body are
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 46
HOPING that it works out. That he will be 'the one' for you. Life feels quite dead and boring without this flame that attraction brings to our lives. You see, other animals in the animal kingdom also experience attraction. The female Alaskan brown bear feels attraction for the male Alaskan brown bear. The female antelope in the wild feels attraction for the male antelope. But the difference between these animals, and us humans, is that we have conscious knowledge of when we are feeling attraction. We can observe ourselves from a third person’s perspective and evaluate our own experiences. And the most marvelous thing is that us human beings have the capacity to alter what we experience in life, unlike other members
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 47
of the animal kingdom. We have more control of our own lives compared to other animals. But yet still, the truth is that we can’t totally control who we feel attraction for or how we feel attraction. But we do at least have some influence over our own lives, and therefore we can shape exactly HOW attractive we are to men. As humans, we can make
“The difference between animals
ourselves more
and us humans is that we can
attractive, and
shape and influence the
make ourselves less attractive. We have that
attraction we experience in our lives, where as animals cannot.”
conscious power.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 48
Attraction Affects Mind, Body & Soul
If you think that attraction only occurs in your mind, then you are definitely missing out on the whole picture. Attraction is a complex cascade of physical changes, hormonal changes and experiential changes. In order words, physically, your body will be producing different bio-chemicals, different hormones, and it will even bring
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 49
more blood to certain areas of your body. Your mood will be different. You will see life through a different lens, a different set of filters. Scientists have now discovered that a man or a woman in love naturally produces a staggering amount of dopamine (excitement chemical), serotonin (happiness chemical) and oxytocin (feeling loved chemical) in the brain and body! So feeling attraction is a whole body experience. It affects your mood, your emotions and your physical body. In fact, science has shown that people tend to make drastically different decisions in life if they felt a strong sense of attraction. Men and women tend to take more risks when they’re in the state of feeling attraction. Scientists have also discovered that
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 50
attraction begins right within the first 0.05 seconds of initial contact. In fact, that is one twentieth of a second. Talk about a first impression! Yes, the first impression does absolutely count when it comes to attraction. (As they say, you don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression) A man would have already sussed you out way before you’ve ever had the chance to say hello. He’s already made his first and most important judgment of your attractiveness and your energy. And your energy is crucial to getting to a serious relationship. It's not just your feminine energy; it's the TYPE of feminine energy you show up with; and the wide spectrum of feminine energy that you display that matters.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 51
And if he finds you attractive, then a whole series of chemical reactions start to bubble inside of him… which he has no control over. Your next step is to understand what is going to trigger that attraction in men and how to maintain that long term.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 52
We’re NOT Meant to be in a LTR
We are NOT meant to be in Long Term Relationships (LTR). I’ve briefly talked about the animal brain and how it affects us as humans. Have you ever wondered why most relationships just don’t work out? When I first started my search for answers, I often wondered why it was that people didn’t seem to stay together, or if they did, they ended up more like friends than lovers. Or they clearly
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 53
stayed together because it felt safe and comfortable, not because they can't pull themselves away from each other if they tried. Why do people cheat? \Why is that married man with his wife walking right next to him, staring at me and my girlfriends longingly and ignoring his WIFE? And why on earth do 80% of long-term relationships and marriages fail? Firstly, it’s because most people don’t have access to the information, tools and understanding that they need to get to the place where their relationship is lasting and blissful. We’re never really taught how to be great lovers and long-term partners! And we need to be given the gift of the secrets of attraction
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 54
to make it work; because we’re not naturally meant to be in long-term relationships. Romantic love was designed to last as long as it would take for a man and woman to come together, fall in love, make a baby and raise that child in to infancy, said by the Anthropologist Helen Fisher. With our 3 levels of brain matter, most of us are driven primarily by our instincts. Instincts aren’t designed for long-term relationships. Like Einstein once said, most people need only their “brain stem” to function. (As the brain stem is responsible for all our instinctive, animal desires and fears) Instincts are designed for procreation. Not long term relationships. These days, we are living much longer than our ancestors. In the
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 55
caveman/cavewoman days, the full life of a human being was 15 - 20 years. In the 1700s and 1800s, we only lived to 35! That’s not too long ago, is it? Back then, it was ok that the initial stages of chemistry lasted say, 3-9 months. Now though, we are living in to our 80s and 90s and beyond! Are you getting the picture of why relationships are
“Our instinctive brain was not designed to help us enter into a long term relationship, but
so difficult for
instead, it is designed to
most of us?
create attraction and see it
Can you see
through to procreation.”
why it’s rare to even have a relationship work out? See, regardless of your spiritual beliefs or your religious beliefs, I’m sure you would agree that evolution has occurred on some
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 56
level. We have evolved from reptiles, and reptiles don’t have spiritual beliefs. They operate on the most basic level there is. Since we have evolved over time, the great thing about being a human being, a homo sapien, is that we actually have the spiritual side to us. This allows us to have compassion and connection and allows us to have fulfilling friendships and relationships, if we desire it enough. We must realize that to make a long-term relationship happen with a man, takes some understanding and care, and most of all, to actually use the secrets that we will be giving you here, to create that lasting relationship. And these are the secrets that your school teachers, friend and female competitors (and yes, there are LOTS of other females competing for a man who is willing to commit.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 57
Females are designed to sense and sniff out these men from a miles away.) Not to mention that there are tonnes....literally thousands of women on online dating sites that men can meet...it has never been more important to get the edge and own the game of Attraction with men. And this is all especially important so that you don't end up with a man who pursues you intensely for 3 months, and suddenly disappears. This is our promise to you - in this series of Attraction Control Monthly, we will share with you the best techniques and strategies to become the feminine goddess that men simply get 'hooked' on and to show you the principles of how to have a long –lasting, passionate relationship. A relationship where you have the best of both worlds. Where you have the ability of
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 58
feeling that gut level desire and attraction, but at the same time, have a relationship so solid that others will think you are destined to be lovers for life. After all, that’s what both David and I firmly believe and that’s what we’d like to teach you.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 59
Attraction and LTRs
If you ever plan to be in a long-term relationship with man, then it is very important for you to understand how to balance the “attraction” side of things with the “relationship” side of things. You see, back in the “old cavemen days”, there was no such thing as a long term relationship.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 60
The human life span back then wasn’t long enough to warrant such a mating strategy. Yet at the same time, a lot of the attraction mechanisms were developed and evolved from those primitive times. So how can we use our primitive attraction mechanisms to make our lives and our relationships passionate, as opposed to causing jealousy, misunderstandings and all the other negative feelings? How can we have a great relationship in this twenty first century world and still also fulfill our animal instincts? The key here is to know how to consciously build and maintain attraction with a man. See, once a man feels a strong sense of attraction in his relationship, it is very unlikely for him to stray and go off with another woman.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 61
But on the other hand, if he doesn’t have that attraction in the relationship to start with, then it will be very easy for him to feel that attraction outside of the relationship. None of us want that, now! You see, we always look for things that we don’t have or that we’re not experiencing. As a woman, at some point, with the man you love, you have to become aware of what he’s feeling, and what he’s thinking. You have to know what to do,
“If your man feels that gut
instead of doing what is based on
level attraction already, then
impulse at the time.
it’s virtually impossible for him to stray and want that with someone else!”
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 62
Relationships are Counterintuitive
You probably hear very often that to succeed in relationships, you’ve got to “communicate”. Well, actually, that means very little. Nearly all of what we communicate goes misunderstood. It just doesn't get through. And that's true, even though we are constantly talking and communicating daily. And, if communicating means talking, that certainly is not the answer to a great
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 63
relationship. The truth is that being able to find and maintain a loving relationship where the passion and love increases over time (yes, I did say increases), is counterintuitive. In relationships, what is intuitive, is usually wrong and harmful to the relationship. What do I mean by this?
“Talking by itself will NEVER make a relationship better… you need to communicate at the same time as building attraction”
Well, it means that we just act on emotion; we do what feels intuitive and what is impulsive. And it’s because of these emotions and intuitions that our relationships eventually lose the attraction and passion. It is intuitive to be lazy and not exercise if you don’t have to. It’s intuitive to eat the
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 64
most “comforting” food. And it’s intuitive to do what’s comfortable and easy in a relationship. After all, we’re creatures of comfort. Unfortunately, comfort will destroy our relationship; it will destroy our health and long term happiness.
“Almost all intuitive responses will destroy the attraction in a relationship in the long run.”
You see, it’s intuitive to spend every waking moment with the one you love when the relationship has just started to kick off. However, spending every waking moment together is also the quickest way to kill the attraction and kill the mystery in the relationship. It’s like if you eat your favorite meal every single day, for every single meal. You will very quickly get sick of it.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 65
In a relationship with a man, especially in the 1-5 month period, we are very vulnerable to doing things intuitively, which ends up destroying our relationship with the man altogether. As women, if we have spent time invested in a man, we want to push for more commitment. It's natural, it's intuitive. And yet, this intuitive response can be deadly in the first 1-5 months when a man is not mentally and emotionally where you are 'at'. Most of us are all making most of our decisions with men based on what seems intuitive. Think about it… What do you do when you've fallen in love and he stops calling you? Do you calmly think it through, and make all the right decisions? Or do you worry and do something that just
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 66
makes things worse? In the past, what do you do when your man seems to have done nothing right? Do you roll your eyes? Make him feel bad? Just get pissed? Isn’t that the intuitive thing to do? But by doing that, you’re making him feel negatively towards you, not necessarily his own behavior. What do you do when you feel hurt? Or when you feel that you have been treated unfairly by a man? Your intuitive response may be to establish some fairness and to feel significant by getting angry. Or it may be you doing more to try to please him. It may be you going to learned helplessness. Almost all intuitive responses will add to the cycle of toxicity and destruction in a
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 67
relationship. Almost all intuitive responses will destroy the attraction in a relationship. So it’s time for us to learn what is counterintuitive. If you have ever been told you can’t be passionate or in love forever, you’ve been lied to. And you’ve most likely been lied to by people who have never mastered their relationships or emotions, nor gotten out of their own selves enough to have the opportunity to experience true love, let alone
believe in it.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 68
The 2 Factors in Attracting Men
When it comes to attracting men, and creating that attraction & desire in men, there are 2 important factors that you have embody. Understanding these 2 factors and using these 2 factors to your advantage would mean that you’ll never have trouble triggering attraction with men of all backgrounds and positions in life.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 69
I’ve noticed over the years that the women who find it the most difficult to attract men, are those who have neither of these 2 factors. These women find it hard to get a man’s attention, let alone his attraction! I will share with you in a moment what these 2 factors are. Meanwhile, I noticed that there are literally hundreds of “ideas” out there in the free online space, that are “supposed” to get him attracted to you, but you know what? Most of them are really just hit and miss. (And a bunch of old re-hashed generic stuff – like… "Oh! Men like confident Women!) We all know that we should be confident in order to become more attractive! We all get it intellectually. But that intellectual understanding just doesn’t cut it. I believe what we really need are strategies to make that transition happen, (from low
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 70
esteem to healthy esteem and confidence) instead of just contemplating the ideas in your head. (More on that later) So what has happened over the last few years is that I’ve noticed women getting confused as to what she needs to do to make this “attraction” happen… Some sources tell her to do a certain thing, and some other sources tell her the EXACT opposite. I don’t know whether you’ve ever been in that boat, but it becomes quite confusing. So what I thought would be totally valuable is if I helped to reduce all that clutter that you may have in your mind and simplify this whole process for you. I thought about this concept of building attraction for a long time and I realized something really fascinating.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 71
I realized that everything that WORKS in building attraction can be categorized into 2 buckets. (these are the 2 factors I was telling you about before.) The two factors that work in attracting men are… 1. Showing up as a high status high value woman. And 2. Showing up with feminine qualities and feminine energy. Now let me just take a moment to explain the importance of what I just mentioned! (If there was ever a secret to attracting men like bees to honey, then this is IT!) Whether you like it or not, we live in a hierarchical world. There is always going to be a social order. We cannot escape this no matter where in the world you go. Why is this? It’s because hierarchy is something that is built into our nervous system through millions of years of evolution.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 72
In fact, here’s an interesting fact. Every species of animal that cooperate together and live in groups, have hierarchies. Imagine a group of monkeys, there’s always those Alpha Males that other monkeys try to suck up to. Same with humans. (Now I know, there’s a part of us that wishes that we’re all equal and we just give love no matter what… and that is the human spiritual part of us; but that’s just NOT the whole truth. We cannot escape hierarchy.) And if you want to test this… just enter a new group of people and immediately you’ll notice them checking you out to see where in the hierarchy you fit in. Maybe you'll notice other women refusing to warm to you until you're "put in your place"?
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 73
So your job is to show up as a high status high value woman! Because when you do, men will automatically be attracted to you. In fact, people will be more attracted to you. You will become magnetic to all others, because we all love to be around high status people! (This is why we follow or even know about celebrities!!!) When you don’t take this step to show up as high status high value… you inevitably become that doormat girl whom men and women step all over! (I’ve know quite a few women in this boat, it never has a pretty ending.) There are of course many fascinating ways to show up as a high value high status woman, and that is a program in its own right. But for now, I just want to touch base
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 74
on some of the basic ways to show that you are high value high status. Showing that you are High Value breaks down to half your mindset and half your actions. When I talk about actions, here’s a few examples of what I mean, and what we will be teaching you. (Throwing pebbles, push and pull comments, negs, challenges and dares, etc) The other half of creating attraction with men comes down to showing up as a feminine woman, and showing up with an overflowing sense of feminine energy. I believe that more and more, women of today are losing touch with their own feminine essence. And yet, for deep attraction to happen, you need a strong feminine energy. In this world where we have valued
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 75
maximum productivity, what has happened is that we’ve overlooked the natural essence of femininity. You see, femininity is naturally inconsistent, and therefore a hindrance when your job is to be productive. And by the way, you may have hated yourself in the past for being so inconsistent at some point in your life! But right now, think back to a moment like that where you have been inconsistent, or said something you don't mean, but you said it anyway…and then hated yourself for it. Well... That was a time when you’ve rejected your own femininity in order to be productive. Good news is that you probably got the job done, bad news is that you pushed down that feminine part of yourself.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 76
So I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to be feminine, and it’s ok to let yourself be more inconsistent and let that femininity surface. (I’m going to get into this difference between masculinity and femininity a lot more in the next volume of Attraction Control Monthly, so for now, just keep this idea of femininity in the back of your mind.) By the way, I always tell women this… “Men will want YOU for sex, but it’s your energy that they will fall in love with!” This is the importance of the feminine energy. So it comes down to these 2 factors… show up as a High Status High Value woman, and show up as a feminine woman who exudes feminine energy. These 2 factors are something that we will definitely explore a LOT deeper in this whole
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 77
series of Attraction Control Monthly. (So keep yourself subscribed!) For now, let’s actually talk about what actually makes a long term relationship work?
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 78
What Makes a LTR Work?
What makes a long term relationship work? It comes down to how much the two people have in common. Commonality is what makes a relationship “work”. It is what generally brings people together. Commonality makes people feel
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 79
understood and feel safe. “They are just like me! And therefore it’s safe to be around them!” Just imagine, if your home town is London, and you met someone on your travels who is also from London, then this creates a rapport and bond that wouldn’t normally be there. After all, he or she is just like ME! Having commonalities makes people feel understood and creates rapport. But most people have this idea that the more they have in common with a guy or girl, the better their relationship is. It’s a common misconception. It’s also common because it’s intuitive. It feels natural, and it’s intuitive to gravitate towards people who are most like us, and it’s intuitive to think the more ‘alike’ a man and a
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 80
woman are, the happier they will be together throughout the long-term. After all, we hear it all the time… “they should be happy together, because they have so much in common!”
In fact, commonalities are what give us certainty, the feeling that we are safe, understood and loved. However, commonalities never equal passion. It’s your DIFFERENCES that equal passion and create Attraction. I was sitting down with one of my childhood friends not long ago, and we like to chat about relationships, though we clearly have different values. I’ve known him since I was 5. We were talking about his relationship with his wife and he was telling me the story of how they got together. We somehow got on to the discussion of
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 81
looks, and he came out and said “yes, I know I can get prettier (than his wife), but I have a lot in common with Hannah (not her real name)”. His comment really made me think. First of all, if I was his woman, I certainly wouldn’t want to be, because I believe that we should all be with someone we think is the best. Saying to a third party that you can get prettier is a very blatant way of saying “I know I can get better.” And it’s
“Commonality is great to have, it makes us feel safe and understood.
not about
But to have passion & attraction…
how pretty
we have to have differences.”
she is. It’s more about the fact that he even thought he could get better than her, and felt the need to tell me that, as well as the fact that the energy I got from the whole conversation was
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 82
that he had settled. You know, in my time working with women, and studying human psychology as well as relationships (my greatest passion), I have learned that a lot of people settle. They settle for something they think would either be safe, or they settle for ‘less’, because they don’t think they could get (or deserve to get) any better. Aside from this, the whole theme of this particular conversation was that he had settled for ‘commonalities’. He had settled because he felt he had a lot of things in common with Hannah. Sometimes, we settle because we feel insecure, and commonalities feel much safer to us. In fact, being with someone who has most things in common with you, but with whom you have little to no passion and attraction, is a good way to stay safe, and to
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 83
feed your own cycle of insecurities. Whilst commonalities are an absolute MUST for any relationship to work (not just work but THRIVE in the long-run), the differences HAVE to be there. Whilst I’m not discounting that my friend and his fiancé have differences, my main point is that TOO MANY people settle for relationships where there they have a lot in COMMON with the other person, and they think this is the way to go, and they mistakenly believe that this will fulfill them. However, don’t discount commonality. It is still very important in a relationship, or else there would be misunderstandings, frustrations and fights that the neighbors will hear about. Just imagine a couple who fight all the time. There’s just literally no time for peace. You’d swear that they’d break up at any
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 84
moment, yet at the same time, they have so much passion with each other and can’t keep their hands off of each other. They fight like crazy and make love like crazy. It’s almost as if the man and woman are from two totally different worlds. They drive the other one crazy and spend long periods of time apart. Yet they have so much attraction and chemistry that they keep coming back to each other. That would happen if there were no commonalities, and thus no understanding of each other. So having things in common is important. But commonalities will never get you lifelong passion in a relationship. It will get you friendship and companionship. A best friendship, maybe, but just a friendship nonetheless. And, having your man as just your best
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 85
friend and not your lover ends up boring and lifeless. Now, here’s what happens in most intimate relationships. Have you ever heard people say: ‘the passion has gone’? I’ve even heard people talk about this as if it is to be expected. “7 years together! What
do you expect?” No, you should not expect the passion just to dissipate. Not if you understand how attraction works. Though it is natural for the attraction to dissipate at some point, even just in moments, the point is that if you take what you learn and put it in to practice, a permanent loss of attraction is never to be expected. Sure, you may go through a ‘dip’ period after the initial “infatuation” stage (if you did
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 86
have an infatuation stage, because some people don’t and there’s nothing wrong with that), but if you are truly committed, attraction and passion would INCREASE. Settling for this is a sign of mediocrity, and it is a sign that you are not willing to get off your butt to actually live and have the relationship you dream of, and not just talk of it. So what kind of commonalities do you need to have? The most important things you need to have in common with your partner are your values. You must share the same values. Here’s an example: your man loves to travel a lot, and values variety a lot. However, you value certainty a lot. You prefer to be a home body. Isn’t that going to cause a few clashes?
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 87
What about if you valued having children and he didn’t want children? What if he was to even just reject all the things that mean the most to you? This is certainly going to cause some problems. It’s because you don’t value the same things. And I’m not just talking about valuing what movie to watch on a Saturday night. I’m talking about important life values. Here’s the thing; we could always compromise regarding what movie to watch on a Saturday night, but if it’s about how many kids to have, or whether to have kids at all… that’s a much bigger and more important decision in your life. So it’s very important to have the same set of values in order for a relationship to have a solid foundation to grow from.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 88
Here’s a quick exercise for you to become more aware of your own values and your man’s values, (if you are in a relationship.) And please note: if you are NOT in a relationship, then think about an ex partner. You will get clearer just by looking at your past relationship(s). I want you to answer these questions and ideally write your response down. Question 1. List these in order of most important to least important: Being happy Being secure Being free Being right _________________________________________ _________________________________________
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 89
_________________________________________ _________________________________________ You see, there are sometimes going to be contradictions in life. We can’t always be happy at the same time as being right all the time. We can’t always feel like we’re secure at the same time as feeling free. These are life’s contradictions. So it depends on what we value more – this will determine our actions and how we feel. So now that you’ve listed them down for yourself, ask the same question to your man. Get him to list down his values in order of most important to least important.
If you are single – put yourself in your ex’s shoes! What is interesting is that, throughout life,
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 90
we tend to make friends with people who tend to have the same values as we do! Just imagine for a moment, someone you’ve known in the past whom you hated. Do they have different values to you? Would they answer this question differently to you? Probably. But on the other hand, just picture someone you are fond of, a person you really get along with. Do they have similar values to you? My guess is that they do. Here’s question 2. Question 2. List these in order of importance. Being significant and important Being loved and accepted Being adventurous Being safe and comfortable
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 91
_________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ Again, can you see that this question really makes you think about what you would value more. And after you’ve put down your answers, go ask for your man’s answers. Question 3. What are the 3 most important things in my life? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ Once you’re done, think about your ex's answers to this question, or your man (if you're in a relationship). Question 4. If your house is burning down
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 92
and you could only take 3 things with you, what would they be? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ Question 5, List these from the most important to the least important. Your Children Your Spouse or Lover Your Work or Career Yourself _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ Now you could probably imagine, the more
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 93
common your values are to someone, the more rapport you guys share. Remember it is important to have at least some values aligned with your lover, because a large difference in values will always break up the relationship eventually.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 94
The Differences which Build Attraction
Having commonalities is great, it means that you won’t have as many misunderstandings and disagreements. However… To produce all the juice of attraction, the sexual chemistry and passion, you need to have differences.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 95
In order to build attraction, you need to recognize your differences, and embrace them. So what do I mean by Differences? Differences include: Your femininity and his masculinity (which we will talk to you about in detail in future volumes of Attraction Control Monthly) Your different roles that you show up in in life and in relationship. In order for a relationship to thrive and to have love AND passion, you have to have the same values but different roles. You have to have different roles in your relationship. This is the KEY. Again; a relationship that is based more on commonalities than differences will have no
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 96
passion. Too much in common kills passion. Think about it, there’s an enormous difference between the role of best friends and the role of lovers. The difference is passion, and a sense of raw attraction. So it’s very important to know that you have a different role in your relationship to your man. Here are a few questions that you can answer to become clearer about the roles you take and the differences in the roles. Question 1. Do you like and prefer to lead others or do you prefer to be lead? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ Question 2. Do you prefer something that
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 97
is challenging to you? Or do you prefer something that is nurturing, relaxing, and makes you feel connected to others? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ Question 3. Do you like to ask for directions when you’re lost? Or do you prefer to figure it out yourself? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ Question 4. Can you easily multi-task, or do you prefer to focus on one thing at a time? _________________________________________ _________________________________________
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 98
_________________________________________ Of course, you need to find out your ex's or your man’s answers to these same questions, and then you can compare them. Remember, the more opposite your answers are to your man’s, then this means you take on a very different role to him in the relationship. The more differences in your roles, the more attraction there will be in your relationship. This difference in roles is really the difference in your core polarity. So what is polarity? Polarity in a man/woman relationship, is the dance between the masculine energy and the feminine energy. So it is important for you to remember that having things in common is great, but having different roles and different energies,
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 99
is essential to creating and maintaining attraction long term. And now you can use those questions above to see and predict how a relationship will pan out. If you want your relationship to last a long time, and not have fights and misunderstandings that last an eternity, then you need to work on having the same common values in the relationship. If you want your relationship to be filled with passion and attraction, then learn to show up in more feminine roles, especially in your relationship. These feminine roles are something we will talk about in the next month’s volume of Attraction Control Monthly.
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 100
The Polarity of Masculine & Feminine Men and women are designed differently. Thanks for the news, Captain Obvious! No, seriously, there are far more differences than you or I could possibly imagine. We’re talking about physically different, emotionally different, and psychologically different. (And this is not because of social conditioning, they are innate differences!) In fact, scientists can now accurately predict a child’s grades in mathematics by testing the amount of testosterone in the bloodstream… when the child is only a fetus in the womb! (The more testosterone, the better at mathematics, the more estrogen and other feminine hormones, the better the child will
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 101
be at languages and linguistics) And this leads us to discover that there are also huge differences in masculinity and femininity. Without these two forces, then attraction would not be possible. It simply wouldn’t exist. There would be no force that would attract or pull 2 people together in a passionate embrace. So if you want to learn how to instantly tap into the source of attraction, then you have to learn about polarity. You have to learn to show up in the roles that are more feminine which in return become more attractive to the masculine energy. You don’t have to be physically gifted, you just have to know when and how to tap into your own feminine energy. And we will delve much deeper into that next month!
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 102
Next Volume of ACM
I hope you’ve enjoyed this month of Attraction Control Monthly. In the next volume of Attraction Control Monthly, we will delve deeper into the idea of polarity. Knowing the secrets of polarity and
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 103
becoming more feminine will mean that you can have attraction with any man, and men will automatically (without you even asking) adore you and yearn to be with you. Think about it. Elizabeth Taylor always had men around her (and had 11 marriages) for a reason. It's this mysterious combination she had of feminine energy AND being High Value. Except, the world that you and I live in is very different from the world Elizabeth Taylor dated and met men in. Back then, feminine energy was more encouraged than it has been for the last 30 years in our world. In today’s world, where there are more and more women entering into the masculine work environment, what has happened is that women are devaluing their own femininity. In a pursuit to compete with men, and to
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 104
maximize productivity, these women’s own inner femininity is put on the backburner. (You see, femininity and the feminine energy is naturally inconsistent, and in the workplace, that may not be appropriate!) And it’s a little wonder why these women are finding it tough to attract real good men. So next month, we will teach you about the real core differences between masculinity and femininity. We will explain where this whole polarity all originated from, and what action steps you can take to use this information to bring the best men closer and closer to relationship with you, and create attraction in your own life. The next volume is named, “Creating Attraction Using Femininity”. You will discover how to unleash your own inner source of natural feminine energy,
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 105
which will attract men to you like bees to honey. And most importantly you’ll learn what does and doesn’t contribute to your core feminine energy, so that you can stop second guessing yourself as to what do to. So go and do your exercises now, and we will see you again in the next month’s issue of Attraction Control Monthly! Take care now!
Copyright © All Rights Reserved. Page 106
About the Authors Renee Wade World Authority and Leader on Femininity, Love Passion & Intimate Relationships.
What*began*as*a*journey*out*of*incredible*pain*in*her*own*past*relationships* with*men,*became*a*passion*and*a*mission*to*help*other*women*from*across*the* world*show*up*as*higher*value,*higher*status*women.*Through*her*own* struggles,*Renee*found*that*when*you*hold*yourself*as*High*Value*and*High* Status,*you*have*all*the*power*when*it*comes*to*men,*and*you*attract*the* passionate*and*loving*relationship*that*other*women*envy.** Renee’s*blog*“The*Feminine*Woman”*has*reached*and*impacted*the*lives*of*over* half*a*million*women*across*the*world*in*the*matter*of*18*months*and*continues* to*inspire*and*teach*women*today.**** Through*this*process,*she*has*advised*and*coached*many*wellLknown*individuals* and*as*well*as*a*number*of*celebrities,*including*newsreaders,*politicians,* lawyers*and*doctors.* But*it*isn’t*just*a*straight*forward*success*story.*
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*
Many*years*ago,*Renee*found*herself*in*a*horrible*nightmare.* She*found*herself*lying*on*the*floor*next*to*her*bed,*exhausted*from*crying*for* days*&*nights.*She*had*spent*almost*four*years*with*a*man*who*she*thought*she* had*a*future*with,*but*it*all*turned*out*completely*the*opposite.* It*was*a*moment*where*she*realized*that*the*one*person,*who*was*supposed*to* care*for*her*and*protect*her,*didn’t.*It*was*a*moment*where*she*needed* protection*from*her*man*from*physical*danger,*but*instead,*he*ran*away.* Her*heart*sank,*and*along*with*it*her*hopes*of*that*relationship*ever*working*out.* She*realized*that*she*had*settled*for*much*less*than*what*she*deserved*in*a* relationship.* That*day*was*the*day*Renee*realized*that*she*had*been*living*a*lie,*dating*the* wrong*man,*and*wasting*her*youth*away,*as*well*as*her*life.* Tired*of*blaming*herself,*blaming*him*and*the*situation,*Renee*set*out*to*find* answers.** Why*did*she*attract*that*man*and*that*relationship*into*her*life?*How*could*she* ever*trust*a*man*again?*How*could*she*move*on*from*this*hurtful*and* embarrassing*experience*and*help*other*women*do*the*same?* Renee*didn’t*find*the*answers*to*these*questions*immediately.*Rather,*it*took* many*highLend*seminars,*expensive*multimedia*programs,*painful*trial*and* error,*and*dozens*of*books*to*get*to*where*she*is*now.* Now*she*has*met*the*man*of*her*dreams,*fallen*in*love*and*living*a*secure,* fulfilling*and*exciting*relationship.*No*more*living*in*anxiety,*no*more*living*in* fear,*and*now*Renee*is*on*a*mission*to*take*this*knowledge*and*share*it*with* everyone*she*comes*across!* It*gives*her*ultimate*fulfilment*to*see*you*become*high*value*high*status,*attract* the*man*of*your*dreams*and*be*safe*and*secure*in*that*deeply*committed* relationship.** *
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*
David Shen Authority & Researcher on Attraction, Commitment & Long Term Intimate Relationships.
Over*the*past*several*years,*David*has*been*obsessed*with*the*theories*and* practice*of*creating*attraction*and*inspiring*commitment*in*intimate* relationships.* Together*with*Renee*for*many*years,*he*has*been*researching*on*these* important*topics*and*has*come*to*some*interesting*conclusions.* He*believes*that*it*is*possible*to*live*your*life*being*in*love*and*having*not*only* excitement*but*security*that*comes*with*a*longLterm*relationship.* He*believes*that*you*deserve*to*attract*a*man*who*doesn’t*just*love*you,*but* worships*you*and*will*take*care*of*you*forever.** It*doesn’t*matter*what*your*background*is,*your*ethnicity,*your*age,*or*your* physical*qualities,*you*can*do*this*because*of*the*feminine*energy*you*that*you* already*have*inside*of*you.** And*it’s*this*feminine*essence*&*energy*that*will*make*men*fall*in*love*with*you.**
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*
David*believes*that*in*order*for*you*to*become*that*woman*that*men*adore,*are* attracted*to*and*want*to*commit*deeply*to,*you*will*have*to*learn*a*few*key* qualities*and*a*few*key*skills.* You*will*have*to*understand*the*qualities*of*femininity*as*opposed*to* masculinity,*the*qualities*of*emotional*attraction,*and*the*specific*qualities*that* you*need*in*order*to*inspire*commitment*from*men.* David*is*also*a*big*believer*in*having*practical*skills*when*it*comes*to*your* intimate*relationship.*He*believes*you*need*the*skill*of*getting*a*man’s*attention* when*he’s*pulled*away,*the*skill*of*indicating*high*value*and*high*status*instead* of*being*treated*like*a*doormat*girl,*and*the*skill*of*really*connecting*with*men* heart*to*heart.* He*believes*that*every*woman*needs*to*understand*these*qualities*and*have* these*skills*in*their*love*lives.*Without*these,*even*if*you*are*a*celebrity*or* supermodel,*you*will*inevitably*be*heartbroken,*disappointed,*frustrated*and* empty*of*love.* So*David*has*made*it*his*mission*to*spread*the*word*and*share*these*qualities* and*skills*with*all*the*women*he*comes*across.* And*when*there*are*more*quality*relationships*in*this*world,*then*David*is* certain*that*there*will*be*less*violence,*less*suffering,*and*less*child*abuse*and* more*cohesion*in*our*world.* *
Copyright*©*2012*–*2020*All*Rights*Reserved.*