Strategy
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First sentence: A broad and general description of your thesis statement—NOT your main thesis statement. Write a sentence introducing your argument as it applies to more than the poem. Do not mention the poem. For example, when writing about a Smith poem, “Racial injustice continues to affect people of color living in the United States.” Second sentence: Zoom in on the Kirst sentence and deliver a more speciKic form of your Kirst statement. For example, “Black people, speciKically, experience life reminiscent of slavery, as they lack adequate voice, struggle to achieve equal representation, and get mistreated because of their skin tone.”
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Third sentence: Zoom in on the second sentence and deliver a more speciKic form of it. For example, “To be black in America means to live under the rule of a corrupt and unfair power.” Fourth sentence: Zoom in on the third sentence. Now, introduce the collection of poems. For example, “In Blood Dazzler, a collection of poems written by Patricia Smith, she reveals the neglect and mismanagement of the poor, predominantly Black, residents of New Orleans, during and after the events of Hurricane Katrina.” Fifth sentence: Zoom in on the fourth sentence. Get more speciKic about the collection of poems. For example, “Smith’s poems help establish the injustice endured by poor Black people who lacked the means to evacuate New Orleans before the hurricane and, consequently, discovered their worth in the eyes of the United States’ government.”
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Sixth sentence: Zoom in on the Kifth sentence and introduce your speciKic poem. For example, “Her poem ‘Gettin’ His Twang On,’ for instance, exposes how George W. Bush, the then President of the United States, ignores the suffering of poor Black people, labeling them, essentially, less than human.” Seventh sentence: Introduce Sheridan Baker thesis statement. For example, “Although black people are not less than human, Smith’s poem ‘Gettin’ His Twang On’ reveals how black people are mistreated by the United States’ government.”
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First sentence: Restate your Sheridan Baker thesis statement in a new and fresh way. For example, “Black people continue to exist as less than human, and Smith’s poem ‘Gettin’ His Twang On’ helps expose the black experience in the United States as a life devoid of respect and afKirmation.”
Second sentence: Build on the signiKicance of the Kirst sentence by expanding on its implications (So what? Why should anybody care? What does it mean in the “bigger picture” of things?). For example, “As the so-called ‘land of the free’ the way the United States’ leadership responded to the conditions experienced by poor Black people in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina represents a much larger problem of equity and human rights.”
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Third sentence: Continue to build on the signiKicance of the second sentence by expanding on its implications (So what? Why should anybody care? What does it mean in the “bigger picture” of things?). For example, “Black people recognize their senseless inferiority within American society, which develops into a growing sense of resentment, one suggesting dangerous, but foreseeable, ramiKication.”
Fourth sentence: Continue to build on the signiKicance of the third sentence by expanding on its implications (So what? Why should anybody care? What does it mean in the “bigger picture” of things?). For example, “Injustice will not continue indeKinitely without consequences; the numbers of the poor and downtrodden immensely outnumber the rich and powerful, which promises dire consequences should conditions remain the same.”
Fifth-seventh sentence: Continue to build on the signiKicance of the fourth sentence by expanding on its implications (So what? Why should anybody care? What does it mean in the “bigger picture” of things?). For example, “When the poor grow intolerant of their conditions, the rich cannot protect themselves against the masses. Past revolutions bear witness to the repercussions of injustice by the hands of the wealthy. These revolutions resulted in mass, preventable deaths, especially of the rich and powerful.”
Eighth-eleventh sentence: Continue to build on the signiKicance of the previous sentences by expanding on their implications (So what? Why should anybody care? What does it mean in the “bigger picture” of things?). “The real minorities, indeed, embody the rich, while the majority includes the poor. The rich may control the wealth; however, they cannot maintain their control over the bodies of the poor unchallenged. Eventually, the levees of power will break. When those levees break, a day of reckoning will dawn, which promises a revolution wherein the poor will once again rise up against the rich.” Twelfth-fifteenth sentence: Continue to build on the significance of the previous sentences by expanding on their implications. Now, deliver the “bigger picture”—the ultimate, “Why should anybody care?” Essentially, the writer introduces the bigger argument ahead—the next essay, so to speak. For example, “However, the modern world is not divided by countries as it once seemed to be; poverty represents a people, and wealth an empire. The revolution of the poor against the rich spans the world and, therefore, the revolution will be global. A global revolution will outdo the French, Russian, and Iranian revolutions put together. Wealth buys power, but it cannot afford time.”
Pyramid
HOW “FATt” IS YOUR TOPIC SENTENCE? F = Focus A = Author’s Name T = Title t = Text Type (news article, editorial, book, etc) FATt TOPIC SENTENCES: SOME POSSIBILITIES 1. TEXT REFERENCE FIRST In the editorial “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills,” John Hurst reveals the trials and tribulations of an adolescent in the troubled reformatory system in California. In his editorial “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills,” John Hurst explores the failures of the juvenile system through the eyes of a young, disturbed girl. John Hurst’s editorial “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills” explores the failures of the juvenile system, through the eyes of a young, disturbed girl. 2.
AUTHOR REFERENCE FIRST John Hurst described the trials and tribulations of an adolescent in the troubled reformatory system of California in his editorial “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills.” John Hurst, the author of the editorial “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills,” implies, through a young girl’s experiences, that the strictness in the reformatories could be a reason why the patients become suicidal.
3. TITLE REFERENCE FIRST “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills” is an editorial written by John Hurst that conveys one girl’s story about how the harsh rules in a juvenile system result in suicide. “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills,” an editorial by John Hurst, reveals the cruel disciplinary actions of the juvenile system that causes patients in a reformatory to become depressed and suicidal. 4. FOCUS FIRST Ridiculously strict rules cause young people retained in California reformatories to commit suicide, suggests reporter John Hurst in his editorial entitled “When the Juvenile System Becomes a Cure That Kills.”
English Department San Fernando High School Math / Science / Technology Magnet
(stolen liberally from a variety of sources)
simply plopped into a paragraph with no integration with your own words. n to the nugget of meaning that best fits your sentence or
paragraph structure.
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T.I.E.S.: Tag, Introduce, Embed, Split (all quotes are cited using MLA guidelines)
Tag: Quote first, context second. o But the 1950s were not, in the end, as calm and contented as the politics and the popular culture of the time American History: A Survey (817). o -o Introduce: Context first, quote second. o o o
Orwell confides
Embed: Context, quote, context. o popular culture of the ti o Orwell was "all for the Burmese" and hated working as an agent of the British Empire in Burma (para. 2). o you Split: Quote, context, quote (note: be sure that the quote is long enough to split) o popular culture of o o repeats A note on block quotes: Generally, long quotations are to be avoided. When a long quotation (4 lines or longer) is absolutely essential (generally, only in a formal paper), it should be set off from the text. Still, it is important to introduce the quotation. A block quote is preceded by a colon and indented 10 spaces. Please note that the quote DOES NOT END THE PARAGRAPH. You must cite the significance! George Orwell had a difficult time acting as a police officer in Lower Burma. As demonstrated in the following excerpt from Shooting an Elephant, he was frustrated by his conflicting need to maintain law and order while remaining faithful to the idea that the Burmese had the right to be free: All this was perplexing and upsetting. For at that time I had already made up my mind that imperialism was an evil thing and the sooner I chucked up my job and got out of it the Better. Theoretically--and secretly, of course--I was all for the Burmese and all against their oppressors, the British (para. 2)
Mrs. Caruso GHS Comm Tech Magnet Developing a Perfect Persuasive Paragraph: C.E.I. A simple strategy that can help you to develop a perfect persuasive paragraph is C.E.I.: CLAIM: A statement which expresses a single, arguable idea EVIDENCE: Specific examples or details that support the claim INTERPRETATION: The significance of both the claim and the evidence. Sample Student Paragraph: S1: Claim
Schools must acknowledge the fact that, although technology is the “modern” way of learning, technological advances create a deficiency of valuable life skills.
S2: Expand Claim
As a result of technology, many children have actually grown less intelligent and cultured; in addition, the technology they engage in deprives them of learning via “hands-on” methods.
S3: Evidence (T.I.E.S.)
According to Yale professor David Gelertner, “our skill-free children are overwhelmed with information, even without the Internet” (para. 5).
S4 – S7: Interpretation
The rise of technology has not improved education intelligence, or schools in general. Children who spend all of their time simply sitting around playing video games develop a lack of skills. Moreover, this loss of skills results in the inability to perform tasks that students a hundred years ago (without the benefit of technology) could do perfectly well, such as rudimentary tasks like the proper way to clean and sort laundry. Simply because children have the opportunity to utilize technology does not mean that it is beneficial.
Here it is as it would appear in your essay: Schools must acknowledge the fact that, although technology is the “modern” way of learning, technological advances create a deficiency of valuable life skills. As a result of technology, many children have actually grown less intelligent and cultured; in addition, the technology they engage in deprives them of learning via “hands-on” methods. According to Yale professor David Gelertner, “our skill-free children are overwhelmed with information, even without the Internet” (para. 5). The rise of technology has not improved education intelligence, or schools in general. Children who spend all of their time simply sitting around playing video games develop a lack of skills. Moreover, this loss of skills results in the inability to perform tasks that students a hundred years ago (without the benefit of technology) could do perfectly well, such as rudimentary tasks like the proper way to clean and sort laundry. Simply because children have the opportunity to utilize technology does not mean that it is beneficial.
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